Monday, December 20, 2010

Dear Santa. Here's What We Have Earned This Year.

If you have been reading our blog--and we know you have been, Santa--you would know how good we've been this year. We have been conquering gnomes left and right. And encouraging others to do so as well. All in all, we think the world is a better place because of it. So ante up, dude. Here's what we want:

1. A Princess Unicorn doll from "The Office". One apiece. No sharesies.

2. Natalie Portman's entire wardrobe from the Star Wars prequels

3. That dude who plays the whatsisbucket. Him. I want him.

4. Hayden Christensen?

4.5 Yeah. Him. I want him.

5. Lifetime passes to Disneyland

6. Viggo, preferably scruffy, in his Aragorn costume

7. JK Rowling's brain

8. JK Rowling's agent

9. JK Rowling's bank account

10. Sara B. Larson's supply of Swedish chocolate

11. Robin Edmundson's ability to weave, dye, and tap 140 maple trees. All while making soap and bringing about world peace

12. James McAvoy, in case Viggo is busy

13. Rubber bands

14. Kate Middleton's engagement ring

15. On second thought, scratch that last one

16. Access to the crown jewels. To go with Russo's Ugg boots.

17. DVD set of every Lifetime Movie ever made. Plus a plot guide. Both pages.

18. The Reclusive Writer's Illustrated Guide To Stalking Viggo Mortensen.

19. A lawyer

20. Caleb Warnock in a bottle. With a little spray-nozzle.

Yours in all sincerity, and with lots of hugs and cookies,

The Gnomeslayers:
Jane Victor Austen Hugo Mary Aristotle Shelly (Janiel)
J. Stephanie K. Meyer Rowling Asimov (Russo)
The Great Maegini (Maegan)


Caleb Warnock said...

Great idea. I think I'll start a product line. Caleb in a bottle. You're not the first ones to want to put a lid on me.

Janiel Miller said...

No, no, no. We don't want to put a lid on you. We want to spray you everywhere and spread the joy!

Russo said...

I'm totally with Janiel. We need your writing wisdom.

Oh, I can't wait for your book to be released!

indiana weaver said...

Loved the list! Howling with glee.