Saturday, January 1, 2011

From The Desk of Angus Darkspume: Destructive New Year's Resolutions of Destruction

1. Righ'. Keep tha' whole eBook-thing goin'. It's brilliant, BRILLIANT I tell you.

2. Invest in paper. HAGGIS-LOADS O' THE STUFF.

3. Destroy all eReaders.

4. Corner the paper market and become a multi-gazillionaire!  AND control the dreams o' every writer ou' there.

5. Look into toilet paper. eToilets?


sueallen2546 said...

Where'd ya get the idea for darkspume? He's HI-larious

Janiel Miller said...

Why thank you! Angus will be happy to know he has a fan.

Darkspume came about as a result of a writing exercise in our class last year. We had a minute or two to write an interesting voice bit that talked about what the character did in life. We voted that it had to involve sewage of some sort. This was mine (and it was typically idiotic):

"Sewage is in my blood. It’s what I breathe. It’s what I live for. Lives are told in the untold pools of human refuse that sludges and slurries beneath these streets. My name is Angus. By day I am a sanitation worker for the city of Clearwater. By night I am Darkspume: defender of freedom, movement, and colonic clarity!"

He morphed from there into my Gnome of Despair: Self-Doubt. If I'm feeling particularly punchy or irritable, I blog from his POV. :)

Thanks Sue!

sueallen2546 said...

Angus has inspired me. I'm starting to think I need to figure out my fear. challenge the gnome right?

Janiel Miller said...

Go girl! Challenge away. Let us know how it's going. Also the name of your gnome, once you figure it out, yeah?

And slight correction of the above quote: It should be "pools . . . that sludge and slurry" not "pools . . . that sludges and slurries." Unless that's Darkspume's dialect. Yeah. Maybe I did that on purpose.

Maegan Langer said...

Yes, the naming thing is very important. I'm not just being glib, here. Once I named my gnome, Fangxiety, it kind of took away his power over me in a weird way. Welcome to the ranks, fellow Gnome Slayer!

Janiel Miller said...

Isn't it weird how that works? But it totally does. Name Your Gnome!