Monday, February 14, 2011

Tips From My Black Heart

Recently, I hinted at my deep dislike for all things Valentine's Day. But my black heart isn't completely shrivelled. I'm a sucker for a good love story. I thought I'd share a few of my favorites, in case anyone needs some last-minute ideas for a romantic Valentine's Day activity.

Boy meets girl. Creepy priest likes girl. Creepy priest casts a curse. Boy becomes a wolf. Girl becomes a bird. Matthew Broderick saves the day. I tear up just thinking about it.

Inspirational story about liking yourself just the way you are, and stuff. (But really James McAvoy.) (And Russell Brand.)

Or, as I like to call this one, "Lord of the Rings on Acid." She's a beautiful princess. He's the Lord of Darkness. Somehow, she still ends up with Tom Cruise in the end. Yeah, I don't understand it either. But at least there's unicorns.

Listen up, guys. If you really want to impress a girl, jump in front of a hungry T-Rex. Or at least take her ice skating in Central Park.

If you're worried the T-Rex thing won't work out, you could always try impersonating her dead husband.
*Note: This only works if you're an alien.

No list of romantic movies would be complete without this one. Before he was a pirate, Mad Hatter, candy-making genius, murderous barber, headless horseman hunter, stop-motion groom-to-be, Peter Pan author, or 1930's bank robber, Johnny Depp was just your average, misunderstood emo with a heart of gold and scissors for hands.

You're welcome. Happy freakin' Valentine's Day.


Janiel Miller said...

Just as long as you're not bitter, hon. :P
Great recommendations. Even greater synopses. Hah!

Janimal said...

*Note: Every boy I've met is an alien.

Robin said...

Great list! We're watching old Lovejoy episodes today.

Sara B. Larson said...

Great movie pics! Love them all. :) (Except I haven't seen King Kong yet)

scott.densley said...

King Kongs up my alley!

scott.densley said...

I kicked Scott off the computer when he said he was on your site.

Its Brandis and me luvs this movie recap. Memmories.

Maegan Langer said...

Hee hee, I'm glad Brandis. I'm a HUGE movie nerd. Probably a little too much. Tell Scott that King Kong is indeed one of the greatest chick flicks ever.

Ari2525 said...

Seen every movie but star man, Its now on my list, Im digging the movie sum up, an interesting way to pull up valentines remininces

miadavis29 said...

Johnny depp is my hunka burning love.

Janiel Miller said...

Mmm. Johnny Depp is EVERYONE's hunka burnin' love.

Janimal: your comment cracked me up. :)

Russo said...

Maegan, you seriously thought of the coolest way to write Valentines. And I just saw Starman this weekend-thanks for the suggestion!