Mr. Spock is easily the most low-maintenance pet I've ever had. He eats flour and water. That's it. Cleaning his cage is super easy. I just scrape him out and drop him into a new jar. No problem. After a few days, he'd grown into the half-cup amount the bread recipe called for.
Then it was time to knead. Clearly, Caleb and Melissa's book is geared for an audience that already knows what they're doing. I'm more like "The Complete Idiot's Guide to Bread-Baking" crowd. Having never baked bread, I'd never kneaded either.
I google "bread kneading" and click on a result at random. It says the dough will look "shiny" and "silky" when it's been kneaded enough. I can handle this, I think. So I start kneading. And kneading. Time passes, I'm still kneading. But it's okay, because Hancock is on FX so I'm not bored or anything but man, this sure seems to be taking awhile . . .
My mom comes into the kitchen. "You're still kneading?"
"It's not silky yet," I say.
The next morning, I roll the dough out. I fold it over. I roll it again. I put the dough into loaf pans and leave them on the counter to rise while I procrastinate working on my book by playing on Facebook. I stick the pans in the oven and twenty-five minutes later, success!