Oh. My. Gosh.
You guys. You GUYS!
I think my husband is stalking me.
I think he is totally reading this blog and, like, stalking me. Remember our February Challenge of the Month this year, "Dear Saint Valentine: Shut Up"? WELL, check this out. And I quote:
"I've survived a lot. I'm pretty sure the boy with the crush (meaning my husband) needs to get me a twenty pound box of Mrs. S's chocolates and a trip to Ireland this year. For his Valentine gift? He can come with me if he'd like. I might even kiss him."
Dudes. Are you ready for this? The boy with the crush took me to Ireland 2 weeks ago! I am not even joking. If that isn't evidence that I am being stalked, I don't know what is. And I've gotta tell you, I am completely freaked out. I mean, what else might he do? I've gotta think back about things I've said on here and prepare myself for when he tries to make them happen. I mean, it's possible, right? I'm not irrational here. People totally do things like this in marriage. Why, oh why did I think that nothing like this could ever happen to me?
|How freaky is this? WE'RE IN IRELAND TOGETHER!|
Ohmyheart, I'm toast. I'm butter on toast. I'm a toasted bagel with a bit of strawberry cream cheese smeared over one half and the other half carefully pressed down so the cream cheese sort of squishes into the center hole. Plus a glass of juice. That's what I am.
Listen. You don't want this to happen to you. Stalking is NOT A LAUGHING MATTER. It hurts. It hurts everyone you love. It hurts deep like a river. Well, you know what I want to say to you, Stalker-Boy? And this comes from the bottom of my heart: You think you can Hit Me Baby One More Time? Well, don't Hold It Against Me, but You're Toxic.You Drive Me Crazy. You're A Womanizer (well, a one-womanizer). You think I'm A Slave For You?
(Well yeah. You took me to Ireland.)
Ack! See how easy it is to fall?
Oops. I Did It Again.
*sigh* I'll never be free of this.
Learn from me, people.