~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Friday, July 6, 2012

The Duct-Taped Mom Saves The Day! Not!


Have you noticed how we've all been sleeping-in late on our posts this week? Mucho sorry-o. But it's been crazy-town here lately. Maegan has been gone, then the local mountain blew up and caught on fire, then it was Independence Day, and then my kid texted from Wyoming--where he is busy throwing hay-bales and cattle on a friend's grandfather's ranch-- to tell me he's sick. And I'm not there. And he's sick. And I'm his mom. And he needs me. And I can't do anything but call the grandparents and hope they can gauge whether or not my boy needs to drive 2 hours to see a doctor. (Have you been to Wyoming? There's a whole lot of nothing there. And some rocks. And once in awhile a town with a doctor in it. But mostly rocks. Plus cows.) AND DID I MENTION I CAN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT BUT SIT HERE ON MY HANDS AND WORRY ABOUT MY SON WHO IS 17.5 YEARS OLD AND NOT 3, EXCEPT I KEEP PICTURING HIM AS 3 BECAUSE I'M NOT THERE TO HELP HIM?

Sheesh. Sometimes motherhood is like having someone pull your heart out of your chest and throw it ten feet in front of you where a hungry lion is rushing at it, and you're duct-taped to the wall.

It's a very straight-jacketed place to be. Especially as the kidlets get older and do more scary things, all of which are done without the mom. Two weeks ago I had two kids at a leadership camp in the Tetons where they were white-water rafting and repelling down 300-foot cliffs (one of which kids weighs about 8 ounces and is a girl. Who scares easily. But who by all accounts wants to do the camp again. Because she didn't die). At the same time my littlest dude was hanging out with a cousin who came down with hand-foot-and-mouth disease, whilst the college kid was away at school working and having boy problems (mostly on the order of deciding that boys are dorks, no offense.) Worst part? I couldn't go comfort or help anyone because my huz and I were clear across the country in New York. 

Thousands of miles separated me from my little offspringies. It was a terribly uneasy feeling. But one they absolutely benefitted from and had to have in order to become adults. And they all did splendidly: little dude did not get the disease, no one fell off a cliff, and boys are kind of okay again.

No. It was I who was falling apart, seeing that heart sitting there defenseless and me unable to do one blessed thing to defend it against the wild-cats of life. 

But then, do you know what happened? To my great shock the heart jumped up into the air, an awesome human being formed around it, and that human told the lion to talk to the hand. Without any help from the duct-taped mom. Then the human-child-o'-mine gave me the thumbs up and went back to taking risks and surviving just fine without me.

*sigh*

Sometimes I think my kids are more mature than I am. I'll have to get used to it. Meantime, maybe I'll just go watch The Amazing Spiderman and quit worrying.

6 comments:

J. M. Dow said...

Whenever my mom gets all clingy, I try to remember that this is how she feels, and I try to remember that this is how I'll feel someday. This was a very sweet post.

shelly said...

From one mom to another. The WORRYING never stops even after they're considered adults.

Hugs,
Shelly

Janiel Miller said...

Thanks, both of you. Being a mom--or a dad--is a THING. And it doesn't end. Just moves on to grandchildren. :) I probably wouldn't have learned half the things I have in life without kids. So I'm grateful. But it would be nice if I could put an impenetrable wall around each of them. *sigh*

Maegan Langer said...

Sounds like those are some great kids. And they have a great Mom :)

William Kendall said...

I'm a rock climber, and I've learned very quickly never to tell my mother in advance if I'm heading off to scale the side of a cliff somewhere. It would drive her nutty with worry.

Russo said...

I tell you what- June was a crazy month for us. I don't know how you do it, girl, you are a great mom. You give your heart and soul to your kids. I respect you.

Maybe that will be my new manta, "I'll just go watch The Amazing Spiderman and quit worrying." I worry way to much.

PS- I loked how you said, "little offspringies."