Monday, August 27, 2012

Dear Writer's Block

Dear Writer's Block,

Let me start off by saying this is not a pleading letter. Oh, you'd like that, wouldn't you? You'd looove to hear me beg for mercy. To wail for you to leave me in peace. Or even ask you politely to cut me a break once in awhile.

Well, this ain't that kind of letter. I'm on to you, W.B. I know how it is. We've had enough run-ins for me to know full well how your devious little schemes operate. You give me just enough respite to let me hope: maybe I can do this writing thing after all. Maybe this time, I'll carry on slightly longer than, say, 200 words before the Writer's Block pounces on me again. Oh yeah, hope is your weapon.

Because you always pounce again, don't you, W.B.? You're like a bad penny. Or Charlie Sheen. You always turn up. You know how to get me at my weakest. You know that beginnings are the worst for me. A new short story. A new blog post. Dare I say, the most harrowing of all, a new chapter in the book I've been working on since the dawn of the Millennium. Yep, starting something new is always the hardest part. But of course I don't have to tell you that.

If I were writing a pleading letter, this would be the part where I kick you to the curb like a bad date. Where I say we're done. Through. Finite. And just like in that Taylor Swift song, we are never, ever, ever getting back together. Like, ever. 

But you know what? I'm not going to do that. You may have my number, but I have yours too, W.B. I know how you work. And I know how we work as a team. That's right, a team. We're like Burton and Taylor. Kermit and Miss Piggy. Hemingway and that one journalist chick. Alone, we're just blah, but together, we are DYNAMITE.

Because of you, W.B., the words I do produce are always that much sweeter. I know you'll be back. You couldn't stay away even if you wanted to. And I'm not sure I could ever let you go. We're that good together. It's just you and me, baby. Feel free to hang around while I get back to work, but do try not to make too much noise. I've got a new chapter to write.

Yours, in all passive-aggressive sincerity,


Note: Today's post was inspired by Laurie Halse Anderson's Write Fifteen Minutes a Day Challenge.


Kyra Lennon said...

Haha, excellent letter! :D

Fel Wetzig said...

This is hilarious! Great post (and wonderful Gnome-theme, too).

Cassidy Wadsworth said...

LOVE this!!! I'd never thought of writer's block like this, but it makes sense. You should write a book :)

Maegan Langer said...

Thanks, ladies!

William Kendall said...

Great post, Maegen!

Taylor Swift... she of the "I'll get back at you through song" mentality....

Maegan Langer said...

Seriously. Miss Swift must go through a LOT of exes.

Russo said...

I love the idea of a letter to writers block. You worded the frustration with W.B. perfectly.

I loved the line, "You're like a bad penny. Or Charlie Sheen. You always turn up." I giggled out loud. I also loved that you signed the letter xoxo