Monday, August 20, 2012

The String (Theory) Joke

And now, another post inspired by the workshop I attended at the Iowa Summer Writing Festival (if you want, you can read the first two here and here). One of the the creative exercises we were given was to re-write a joke in a new voice, any voice we wanted. I couldn't help gravitating towards one of the most well-written and therefore best-voiced characters I know: Sheldon Cooper from the Big Bang Theory.

The set-up to this involves a scenario in which Leonard and Penny have finally decided to get married. (Which is what would happen, if I, in my infinite sitcom wisdom, were writing the show. I mean, seriously! When are those two crazy kids going to get over themselves and take the plunge?)

But first, a note: I had this grand plan of including screen shots of Sheldon and Leonard with facial expressions to match each line, but my laptop is broken (okay, I broke it), and I don't know how to save individual pictures on this borrowed Mac I'm using. Even though it's probably something embarrassingly simple, I know it would take me all day to figure it out. So I'm afraid you'll just have to visualize what this exchange would look on your own. Are we good now? Okay. On to the actual post.

Leonard: Sheldon, what do you think about being the best man at our wedding?

Audience: Awwww!

Sheldon: What exactly does that entail?

Leonard: Oh, not a whole lot, just holding on to the rings and giving a toast at the reception . . .

Sheldon: Leonard, have you ever heard the joke about the string?

Leonard: String theory?

Sheldon: No, just string. It's going to take something simpler to get this across.

Leonard:  . . .

Sheldon: A string walks into a bar and asks for apple juice -

Leonard: Why would he order apple juice at a bar?

Sheldon: I'm telling the joke, Leonard!

Leonard: *looks exasperated*

Sheldon: A string walks into a bar and asks for apple juice. The bartender says, "I'm sorry, we don't serve strings here." The string goes back outside, rolls around on the ground, twists itself up until it's as dizzy as Wolowitz at a Battlestar Galactica convention. Then the string goes back into the bar and the bartender says, "Aren't you the same string that was in here a moment ago?" Do you know what the string said, Leonard?

Leonard: *crosses arms* I know you're going to tell me.

Sheldon: The string says, "No. I'm a frayed knot."

Thanks, folks! I'll be back next week, hopefully with pictures.


William Kendall said...

I'll have to take your word for it that they'd run it that way... I've never watched the show.

Yes, I know, the Big Bang Theory Fan Club will be showing up at my door with torches and pitchforks post haste.

Maegan Langer said...

William. Watching John Carter (finally) was a step in the right direction, but there's still more work to be done. I think you know what I'm talking about.

Russo said...

I love that you wrote in sheldon's voice and did so quite well. I laughed out loud because you got Sheldon's reactions perfectly. I could see the dialogue in my head perfectly!