Friday, September 7, 2012

The Perfect Way to Smash Your Gnome

Gnome-Smashing Tip of the Day: Whatever you do, do it like you did it on purpose.

I've got a kid who wears the most whackdoodle clothing combinations I've ever seen. Like, Lady Gaga calls her for fashion tips. Got a lovely pearly grey sheath? Pair it with construction-cone-orange wellies. Find a narsty 1970's print midi skirt at the thrift store? Plunk down three dollars, then ratchet that baby all the way up to your armpits, throw a belt around it, slap on a cropped jean jacket, and voilá! I don't know what you have, but it's totally cool. Especially paired with the India-beaded stilettos you also picked up for two-smackers. Can't decide which of three sweaters you're going to wear today? Wear them all! What the heck! And throw on two different necklaces. And then roll your jeans up to your knees because . . . just because!

And it will all work. Do you know why? Because you're wearing it like you did it on purpose. That is how my kid gets away with it.

And guess what else this little attitude works with? Everything. By watching this child, I've figured out that when you make a big social blunder *cough* rip the ballet barre off the wall *cough*, cook scary food for guests, blow a public performance, or write something completely pitiful--if you just shrug, smile, and breathe, most people will either forgive you, or start copying you. And it's all cool.

Life's too short to get all self-conscious and worked up about things, I think. We're all people. We just want to succeed. And I don't think any of us really wants the other guy to fail. At least not nice people. And most people are nice.

So that's my message to you today by way of my cool kid: Whatever you do, do it like you did it on purpose. And smile. If it doesn't put people at ease, it will make them wonder what you're up to. And that's almost better. 


Robin said...

Totally great advice. I need to practice this more.

Janiel Miller said...

Yeah, I'm trying to memorize it. :)

William Kendall said...

Making people wonder if you're up to something is a highly amusing way to live.

Russo said...

Whoa, I adore this concept- "Whatever you do, do it like you did it on purpose." Goll, you know I need this in my life because I am constantly doing stupid stuff.

I loved your line, "Lady Gaga calls her for fashion tips." I also can't stop giggling at "*cough* rip the ballet barre off the wall *cough." Oh my goodness, me.

BTW your last paragraph is killer, loved it