~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sunday, October 31, 2010

On Halloween


From ghoulies and ghosties and long-leggedy beasties and things that go bump in the night, Good Lord, deliver us!
Scottish Saying - Probably inspired by Darkspume, Gnome of Despair

'Tis now the very witching time of night,
When churchyards yawn and hell itself breathes out
Contagion to this world.

William Shakespeare


I'll bet living in a nudist colony takes all the fun out of Halloween.
Author Unknown

Shadows of a thousand years
Rise again unseen,
Voices whisper in the trees
'Tonight is Halloween!'

Dexter Kozen

Deep into the darkness peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearing,
Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before.

Edgar Allan Poe
The Raven.

A grandmother pretends she doesn't know who you are on Halloween.
Erma Bombeck

There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.

George Carlin

Nothing on Earth so beautiful as the final haul on Halloween night.
Steve Almond


I would rather sit on a pumpkin and have it all to myself than be crowded on a velvet cushion.
Henry David Thoreau






Saturday, October 16, 2010

Awful Fabulous Opening Sentences


Hello Gnomeslayers of the world!  Today we add a new feature to our blog, titled: "Awful Fabulous". It will appear occasionally and unpredictably when I, or the other two, or all three of us, are sleeping off a Little Debbie's-filled weekend and are too tired to write anything else. Or when we are feeling glib. Today "Awful Fabulous" is my gift to you. Lists of things - you might even call them writing prompts, if you are feeling generous - that you are free to use in your own writing.
You're welcome.


This month's list is called (dun dun dun!):
Awful Fabulous Opening Sentences! Please partake freely.
  1. "I knew she was going to dump me when I kissed her and tasted the onions she'd put on her burger at lunch. I'm allergic to onions."
  2. "He was the kind of guy who never asked for directions and never got lost. Except when he did. Which was all the time."
  3. "She was long and lean and filled my doorway in much the same manner as a long and lean woman would if she were standing there filling it."
  4. Eleanor's children were her life. Mostly because she fed off of them regularly.
  5. The sun rose in a bloody red smear like when you fall off your bike and road-rash your knee but you're too busy to go in and have your mom put hydrogen peroxide on it, and besides, that stuff stings like heck, and so the blood just runs down your leg and dries there. Like that.
  6. "I love you," he said. "I'll love you forever." To which she replied, "And I'll love you forever. Or until after your funeral. Whichever comes first." That's when he knew he should have made her sign the prenup.
  7. It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. No, it was the best of times. Actually, no it was the worst of times. No wait! The be . . . .the wor  . . . It was the . . . Four score and seven years . . . Call me Ishmae . . . Ernie.
  8. He was dead. She knew he was dead because of the way he lay there moaning, "I'm dead! I'm dead!"
There you have it, dear writers. Use at will.

With love,

The Indespensable Gnomeslayers

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

No Way did THAT Just Happen

Challenge of the Month: Paranormal Experience


It's no secret for me to tell you that I can be a self destructive person. True, I have gotten better with age. In my late twenties, I have been able to make peace with myself. I have learned that life is fragile and can be taken from you at any time.

Halloween is a Holiday that centers around everything morbid-ghosts, death, etc. Sure, there is candy galore and so much more. Somehow, the death part is always personal to me.

A long while back, there was a two year period that I prayed for my death every day. Oh, dear reader, I really hate admitting that secret out loud to you but its the truth. Sounds selfish but I loathed what cards life had dealt me.

On a Halloween night, the weather was more like Christmas than Fall. Snow laid everywhere as a gaggle of my friends and I trudged into a physic shop. The scenery was exactly what you'd expect when in a fortune teller's abode (crystal ball, gypsy-like tapestries and everything Gothic)

The fortune teller went through all of my friends promising the usual-love, babies and happiness. I seriously was not listening to any of the drivel the crazy-lady said to my friends.

Not until, she stared me down and said, "You're at a dead end."

I rudely responded, 'Excuse me?" (Yeah, I'll admit, I was beeyotch back then)

Anyways, crazy-lady continued, "Change your life choices or your journey will end. Keep praying for death and you will perish before your time."

Those words still haunt me. I wonder, how in the world did crazy-lady know my inner secret? I had not told a soul. Many years have since passed since that freaky night of poignant wisdom. Death has not found me yet. Sure, he has taken someone very dear to me but that's beside the point.

I do not wish to die, at least not yet. And I have dear crazy-lady to thank for waking me from my slumber in the month of Halloween.