Wednesday, December 19, 2012

My ridiculous family party

The holiday season is filled with twinkling lights, food galore and presents. Not to mention uncles who drink beer and pray to Santa, aunts who are hyped up on substances and a grandmother that will stop at nothing to embarrass you.

I love the holiday season but the family interaction is enough to drive us mad. Yesterday was my family Christmas party. My Auntie is coming off of heroin and boy, is she a treat. She's trying so hard to stay away from substances that she's popping antihistamine’s left and right. So much that she drops one on the floor and my dog nearly ingests it.

Seriously, Auntie get a grip. A four pound dog hyped up on allergy tabs is the last thing we need over the holidays. Can only imagine what a pill would do to a little dog? She'd be pacing the floor, her head wouldn't stop moving and her eyes would be dilated.

Thank heavens my grandma saved the day. She swooped my dog up into her arms and yelled, "That's what she said."

If you're baffled, well then, so was I.

The room went quiet as we all tried to figure out why my grandma yelled, "That's what she said."

It then dawns on me that she has NO idea what that phrase means or how to use it. So the rest of the night my grandma wouldyell repeatedly, "That's what she said."

And how do you tell your grandma what the phrase means? You don't. You let the moment pass because she will forget what she's saying in less than an hour.

Seriously, when will the family parties end? On a brighter note, this holiday season has been filled with reconciliations, hope and joy. The holiday season can be stressful but it can also bring unexpected surprises that heal your heart.


Norma Beishir said...

Love this, Russo. I always loved Christmas when I was growing up. Now that my parents and pets are all gone, I just spend the day missing them.

Merry Christmas, Gnomes!

Janiel Miller said...

Seriously. Your family get togethers should be a reality show. Wahaha! Such great characters!

William Kendall said...

I'm actually staying clear from the family this year... permanent tensions with my sister have seen to that.

Maegan Langer said...

That's what she said! Wait . . .