Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Halloween Short Story Challenge: Lighting yourself on fire is a serious faux pas

Halloween Storytime-Guess what, this story is totally true.

On crisp Halloween night a girl named Rus-crap, let's call her Bette. Anyways, a girl named Bette crushed on a bloke who looked an awful lot like Orlando Bloom. Not the Orlando Bloom of 2011 but more like the one a decade earlier when he played Legolas on Lord of the Rings. This guy of Bette's heart was rocker-hott, long blonde hair with leather pants and a leather cuff on his wrist. Can we say swoon?

Anyways, back to the Halloween night from hell. Rus-er, Bette accidentally lit herself on fire.

The goal of the night was to dress in a super yummified costume. Bette wanted to go as a SWAT team member, cute lil skirt and all. But due to lack of dinero, she had to go as a vamped up Snow White. Which super-hottie Rocker didn't mind at all.

On that night, they bought a whole slew of pumpkins and ran them over with his Mustang. Which did you know if you run over pumpkins repeatedly, you will get a flat tire? After laughing so hard their lungs hurt, they explored the whole town hand in hand.

When super-hottie Rocker took her home the moment of the big kiss at the door step loomed over the two. Rocker put his hands through his long hair and then grabbed Bette's waist. He stole a long, passionate kiss.

Bette was majorly grooving on the guy. She adjusted her feet and grabbed the bloke's hair. She felt a lit Jack o' Lantern near her toes but didn't care. Rocker had her hooked with his soft lips.

And she continued to not care, so much that her long dress grazed over the top of the lit jack o' lantern. The hem of her dress caught on the flame of the candle and because Karma has it in for her the dress caught on fire.

Russ-er, Bette didn't even notice until Rocker sniffed the air and said, "Do you smell a fire?"

Flames danced around the hem of her dress and thankfully, the only thing that saved her legs from burning was her leather boots. Well, her leather boots AND Rocker, who came to her rescue.

The actual fire was put out but in its place a new fire had totally taken over Bette and Rocker. Ah, the flames of love. And man, do they consume and fast.


jjsundevil said...

babygirl U N karma needs to make up

Janiel Miller said...


(James - you are so right! I told Russo that she needs to get a dog and name it Karma. That way when it misbehaves she can say "Bad Karma!" and thereby pay tribute to her hilarious life. :)

Kristina said...

Oh goodness! Well, law of averages says you can only have so much bad right?? ...maybe that applies for Karma. Thanks for the laugh this morning!

MANDY said...

Oh Russo, you are forever making me laugh. But just think, the hottie was there to help you in your time of need! Great story. Thanks for stopping by my blog. You probably saw I haven't blogged in almost two months! (wipes tears from eyes) My job is quite demanding this year and these kids I gave birth too keep wanting me to cook for them! Well, life is getting in the way of my writing right now. Hopefully after these reports are done I can get a few moments to enjoy the thrill of pen on paper (or fingers on keyboard). But I am managing to read each night...my escape from life!

William Kendall said...

Oh, what a story!

Thanks for the laugh!