Life is all about being brave and conquering fears. You've probably heard your momma tell you to try new things. This is all well and good but lemme tell you, there are something’s that just shouldn't be tried. This weekend I went with my sister to a ballet class. What should've been a relaxing hour of stretching your limbs turned into an hour of chaos.
I'm 6'2 with long legs. I've never been graceful. Usually when I meet
someone for the first time I make a great first impression by tripping over my
own feet and collapsing to the floor. This time was no different.
I walked gingerly into the ballet studio. I was nervous as all get up to
meet my teacher. The instant I meet her I scuffed my feet on the wooden floor
and fell right on my butt.
The teacher gasped all dramatically about my lack of grace and said,
"My dear, walking should not be a challenge."
Everything about this woman was pointy, her hips, her nose and her fingers
had no soft cushions of flesh. She had a harsh attitude and worse of all; she
was out to get me. She had us all line up on the bar.
I immediately pulled out
my hand sanitizer and got things un-germified (If that's a word.)
She snagged my hand sanitizer and the class stretched and dipped in ways
I never thought possible. I attempted to mimic these movements but I looked as
graceful as a rooster in a tutu.
The more I made mistake after mistake, the more my teacher became instilled
with the dream of making me graceful. If I moved the wrong way, she wacked my
butt with a fly swatter. No joke, a fly swatter. Yeah, if we lived in a time period
where human sacrifices where still allowed, I would have thrown this woman into
the volcano pit. She was that menacing.
The more the hour went on the more I made this woman crazy. She kept
plucking along and as it has it, I did walk a bit more gracefully. I became
aware of my surroundings. I did a demi-dip (no, this isn't a real ballet term;
I made it up to annoy her.)She half-smiled at my mediocre progress. The boney
woman believed the fly swatter had gotten through to me. Bo,y was she wrong.
The last five minutes of the class I accidently ripped the ballet bar off
the wall. I then tripped over the air and sprained my ankle.
I swear, I thought her head was going to inflate and explode. She turned her
head and coughed all hoity-toity-like and said, "I would prefer never to see your face again."
My sister snorted out loud and laughed so hard tears rolled down her cheeks,
My eyes opened wide with her sentence as I said, "Fine by me."
We paid for the broken ballet bar and left the studio. We treked next door for
some frozen yogurt. All the while, giggling at my lack of grace.
Yep, ballet is not for me but at least I tried something new, which is the message for today. Get out there and truly live, my friends. I'm rooting you on all the way!