This weekend I've been dealing with some major dental surgery. As a result, I was drugged out of my mind on Lortab. I also happened to bump into my ex at the grocery story. Sadly, the Lortab is gone but the humiliation of what transpired next is still there.
Seriously, who wants to see their former flame while hyped up on Lortab? So,
I did what any drugged person in pain would do-I went into hide mode.
I grabbed my friend Jameses and ducked into the Halloween section. I nabbed
a pink wig ala Lady Gaga and ducked and turned around every corner. My ex went
to the meat department. I ducked into the produce section. All the while my
friend, Jameses kept shopping.
He nabbed some bananas and I did my best to stay out of sight, which is
pretty hard when you're 6'2. Of course, I'm in spaz-mode so I didn't realize
what Jameses is doing. I accidently barrel into my friend while he's holding some
bananas. At that moment, I'm covered with smashed bananas. Not to mention, I'm
wearing a pig wig.
Yep, nothing says I've gotten over you like a pink wig and smeared banana on
To make matters worse, he sees me. We share in this awkward moment of the
past colliding with the present. I haven't seen this guy for a decade and this is
the moment we happen to meet again. I tell you what, life is tricky but it's
also a rush, isn't it?