Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Embarrassing moment alert

Before I get going on my post I just wanted to say thank you to all of my dear friends, be that from high school, the writing and blogging community. Anbody who has supported this blog, thank you.

Your kindness means more than you'll ever know. My writing dream is considered taboo amoung some of my family members. So, your comments and kindness are treasured.

With that said, lemme tell you about my dreadful day. I have been walking around the city with a giant sticker on my tookus.

Last night, my sister commandeered my condo with her scrap booking party. Not my idea of fun. So,when I awoke for lunch at a sushi bar with my bestie, I was a bit out of it. I threw on my leather leggings and lace shawl. The day was normal as normal could be- I tripped up the stairs while entering trax, accidentally bonked my head on some meat head's bike. Same old stuff for me.

Lunch was divine. Halfway between a large bite of tuna and cream cheese roll, I realized something was wrong. So, I stood up and had Jameses check out the stitch on my tookus. Apparently, I had a large white sticker with beautiful calligraphy state, "Go confidently in the direction of your dreams."

So, I have to ask- Is that a bad sign that the sticker stuck to my rump says, "Go confidently in the direction of your dreams?"

Are my dreams crap-tastic?

Oh, dear Fate, please let me know.

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Living with a schizophrenic

Let's get intensely personal. My main goal with writing is to help at least one person deal with their life. Some might not like this topic choice. I'm going to be real and honest.

How to chase a dream when someone you love is mentally ill.

Chasing a dream is hard stuff. You have elements that are out of your control that slam up against you. How you react to problems will determine your future. Some problems are trivial. Others, not so much.

This past year I have had to face the truth that someone dear to me is not mentally well. I have known this truth for as long as I can recall but dealing with it is another story. *Please note that there are many levels of schizophrenia, some cases are mild, some are more advanced. What I write may ring similar to some but every case is different.

That said, I cannot watch the movie, A Beautiful Mind. And that's saying a lot, because I adore Jennifer Connelly and Paul Bettany. I cannot watch the movie because I have lived that life.

The person I love has rejected me countless times, not because I wasn't theirs but because they were so deep in the darkness I didn't really exist. I am flesh and bone and the more real you are to someone who is not mentally well, the more you do not exist.
This is not in your control, nor is it in theirs.

The only thing you can control is yourself. How you react and how well you live your life.

Chasing your dream is even more complicated when dealing with mentally issues of a loved one. In truth, there are times that I am super hard on myself. I am working on that.

Schizophrenia can take a toll but it has also been one the best blessing I could be given. Because of the disease, I am able to see the beauty in life. In my case, the person is gifted and talented beyond the norm. I get to see the world through their eyes. I'm lucky.

An existence can be fragile and fleeting. The beauty is realizing the hardest situations are the ones mold you. I'm better because of schizophrenia.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Ways to not get stoned at a party

Lesson learned-when at a party with strangers do not ever eat the chocolate cookies. Because like it or not, you will get stoned. I know, I know, you are thinking- how in the world is this gonna help me chase my dream? Stick around, I might surprise you.

Lemme give you the dirt. Last night, I unknowingly got myself high. At 5pm, I played a wicked game of tennis. As a result of pushing myself too hard, I dropped my guard. Have you ever been so tired you will do whatever just ease the pain? The feeling stinks. Anyways, my best friend yanked my exhausted body out of bed for a party, I willingly went along. I was a terrible, painful mess. I grabbed the first set of clothes I could find- a mohair sweater with a plaid skirt and gladiator sandals. I looked like a school girl meets the movie 300.

At 9 pm, the air outside smelled like rain and anchovies. We traveled down a dirt road and into a small cottage with luminaries all along the walkway. Jameses-my best friend, stepped into the rest room. I hadn't eaten anything 2pm, and no joke, tore through 2 cookies. Jameses maneuvered through the crowd only to find me with glazed eyes.

He lovingly swatted away the cookies and said, "Baby-girl, I wouldn't eat those if I was you." I didn't listen to him. My shoulder pain began to disappear. I ate another set of warm chocolately goodness. All I could focus on was the chocolate chips. Apparently, I was a giggly mess. I repeatedly hugged my bestie, like his skin was made of red vines.

And as much as I don't want to admit this, I will, for the sake of the lesson-I jumped on top of the granite fireplace ledge outside and sang along with the iPOD- "Highway to Hell." I was dancing and whipping my hair all around. Truth to tell, I should've listened to my best friend. Instead I chose to do my own thing. Sometimes that will hurt you. In business, that will kill your career.

Along the journey of pursuing your dream, you will have mentors and teachers guide you along. The trick is to listen to those dear people. Don't blow them off because sometimes their advice may save you a whole lot of trouble.

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

April Fool's Intervention

April Fool's Day and chasing your dream don't really mesh well. And that's a good thing because you, as a dreamer are giving your all toward your passion. The month of April allows you the chance to breathe and relax for a moment. Enjoy the silliness because it will refresh you.

With that said, lemme give you the April Fool's Day dirt- I have done some devilish pranks. Way back in the day, I had my pregnant sister pee on a pregnancy test. I then left the stick on the counter for my ex with a note that said, "You'll be a great father-NOT." Yep, I learned the hard way that you don't mess with men by giving them a pregnancy scare.

This year, I got my own comeuppance. Have you ever watched the show called Intervention on A & E? Today my family pulled an intervention on me. Lemme give you the dirt, my mom invited me over for dinner at Red Lobster. And I stupidly, came to dinner in my new super hero-style leather boots with sparkly beret. My family sits me down in the living room and says, "Russo, we love you but you have a problem."

My heart raced like a hummingbird on speed. My family has been down this path with me. Not but ten years ago, I was a coked-out mess.

I evenly stared my mom in the eyes and said, "Are you kidding me? I'm clean. I'll go take urine test right now."

My brother has tears in his eyes as he says, "You're addicted to hand sanitizer."

Strangely, my family is semi serious. Everyone is staring at me waiting for me to speak. I have no words. At this moment, I'm baffled, my eyes are blinking rapidly.

My mom, no joke, says in a calm voice, "I'm serious, you apply hand sanitizer every 30 minutes. You reek of rubbing alcohol. You have a problem."

At this point I am baffled. I began laughing so hard that my eyeliner is running into my mouth. I mean, I am the girl who once took so many pills that my lymph nodes just ached. I evenly stared at my parents and said, "I'm sorry but ya'll are worried that I over-do my germ protection?My, oh my, how things have changed."

Yep, this year, its official. I loathe April Fool's Day- I vote that it be banished from the calender. But then again, super silliness might just be our muse. Something to inspire us while on the road toward our dream.