Wednesday, August 20, 2014

Broke my butt bone and other mishaps

It's been a while since I posted. I had this grand idea to write a story on this blog. Life got in the way. I graduated college and earned my English degree. I also broke my coccyx bone. I love saying that word, coccyx. Yep, basically I broke my butt bone. This week I had x-rays on my hips and pelvis to see if they were broken or had fractures.

Needless to say, the past two summers have been full of life lessons. One- never break your butt bone. It hurts WAY bad. 2- understand that sometimes the best thing we can do is learn from our mistakes.

I have missed you all, my friends. I hope life is treating you good!

Monday, January 27, 2014

I vomited on my dentist

This weekend I vomited on my dentist during a root canal. Even crazier, the vomit-thing has happened more than once. Me and the dentist do not mix. Oh, well, at least I got laughing gas. Isn't the world sunnier when laughing gas is involved?!

I also dealt with a sick cat, so I got scratch marks all over my arms and chest when we visited the vet. Needless to say, this weekend was a bit of a mess. Thankfully, my fave gnome girls were there for me. We carpooled up to a good friends home and watched a movie on a projection screen. Popcorn, chocolate and dear friends makes the world  better.

My friends, there are some days that just don't go as planned. We get tired, frustrated and little beat up. The beauty of these times is no matter how hard life gets, people will be there to support you. Thank you Janiel, Maegan and M for brightening my day!

Thursday, January 16, 2014

I broke a fish tank in an office building

Who needs a good laugh? Well, I am always here to supply one with my many embarrassing stories.

Yesterday, I broke a fish tank at an office building. Before I continue with this story I must mention that every fish survived the tornado that was me.

I decided that yesterday would be a great day to dig out my knee-high leather boots. I haven't worn them all season. Upon entering the building, I tripped over a rug. This is usual for me so I recovered quickly. What I didn't realize is that my boot had somehow gotten stuck in the strap of my purse. Don't ask me how this happened because I still don't know.  All I know is that I tripped and badly. In the process, my purse wacked the fish tank.

You know, the fish tank held up very well. In some areas, the glass just cracked but the spot with the biggest impact had a massive hole. I ran around the office like a lunatic. My goal was to save every fish. I did but I looked like an absolute crazy person in the process. I didn't care about my wet boots nor did I care about the fact that I was stepping in fish poo. All that mattered was the lives of those fish.

I gathered up each fish and put them in pitcher of water. Like I said, all of them survived. After that adventure, I hurried over to the pet store just up the road. I am pleased to report that the fishies received an even larger home with some new decorations and plants.

Me on the other hand? I had to clean fish poo out of my new boots and my neck is so stiff. It was worth it.

Monday, December 23, 2013

My hair got stuck in a sticky fly trap and other mishaps

Holidays can be stressful. Never fear, I've got a story to make you laugh.

There are many ways to make a great first impression. For example, look people in the eye when you speak to them and stand up straight. This week, I made the WORST first impression of my life. This is saying something because you know me, if anything can go wrong, it will. 

Lemme give you the details, I had an interview for my masters program as I graduate with my bachelor's next spring. The minute I walked in the door, I tripped over the rug. There was nothing graceful about my fall. It was one of those falls where you face plant. 

After making a remarkable entrance, I decided to whip out my hand sanitizer. Usually I can handle this task with zero issues but today I was so nervous, I squeezed the bottle and it erupted like the Old Faithful geyser at Yellowstone. Even crazier, it went in my eye. Lemme tell you, hand sanitizer in your eye is horrid. At this time, I have a rug burn on my forehead from the fall and I'm squinting like a pirate due to the sanitizer.

The lady who interviewed me was so kind, I think she was mesmerized by all my mishaps. We carried on with the interview. I had no idea what I said to her questions.  I was trying to survive. Plus, I was entranced by this massive sticky fly trap near the door. This trap had hundreds of dried flies. Looking back, I should have known to stay away from the fly trap. Oh no, I was nervous and me and nervousness are not a great combination. Upon standing up to exit the building, my hair got caught in her massive sticky fly trap. 

All I could do at this point was laugh hard. The dear lady followed suit. She laughed so hard her lungs started to burn and she coughed.  Don't you just hate those days where everything goes wrong?

Tuesday, December 10, 2013

I have missed you all

I have been M.I.A and I am so sorry. I have been stuck in British Literature hell. This class was WAY intense, I thought Shakespeare was hard but lemme tell you, Old English is even worse. Chaucer and the dude who wrote Beowulf are all I have read for 4 months and I am so done.

Now, I am glad to be back writing this blog.  I am going to be mixing things up in the New Year.

I hope everything is well with you, my friends. You have been missed.

Monday, October 21, 2013

Embarrassing moment alert

Today I announced to some friends that I have nothing to blog about, so I'll go dark this week.

Apparently, I wrong.

I had forgotten that just last week a goat had pissed on my black booties. This is horror enough but then I was reminded of all my other nasty moments within the last few days. I'm going to make a list and maybe, just maybe you will feel incredible about your life after reading this said list.

Horridly embarrassing moments in the life of Russo

1.  The goat pissed on my new booties.

2. A donkey kicked me in the shins.

3. The girl who waxed my eyebrows went to town on my flesh. I have a horrid rash on my eyebrows.

4. I got lost in a corn maze. This is nothing huge but while getting lost, a bird crapped on my head.

5. While getting off of the public transportation, I totally tripped.

6. I fell down a tiny hill that I was climbing to see the sun rise.

7. I repeatedly bonked my head on my neighbors potted plant.

8. While walking down the stairs I bonked my head.

9. I slipped into a pile of dog crap while playing in a pile of leaves with my niece.

Tuesday, October 1, 2013

Recharge your batteries

We all have busy lives. We are chasing dreams and living life to the fullest. Today I realized that sometimes we have to slow things down and take time for ourselves.

Instead of going ninety miles an hour, do something that recharges you. Whether that be watching a movie, listening to music or going for a walk. Take the time to give back to yourself, my friends. You deserve it.