Questions We Are Frequently Asked

  1. Why are you so obsessed with gnomes? We're not obsessed with them, they're obsessed with us.
  2. But, gnomes? Really? Why not, you know, unicorns?  That's what we want to know. Why can't unicorns be obsessed with us? They sparkle. Gnomes drool.
  3. When did you first realize you wanted to be a writer?  When we failed math. Plus we needed a way to keep track of all the voices in our head.
  4. How did you find your personal gnomes?  You mean, how did they find us? The Yellow Pages. And we don't appreciate it very much.
  5. Does your Literary-god-like-Instructor know about this blog, and if so, how does he feel about it?  Two words: searing rampant jealousy that is really bad.
  6. Which character in "The Office" are you most like?  Dwight's hair.
  7. Zombie apocalypse. Who would survive, Robert Pattinson or Glenn Beck?  Both. They would start their own race of ultra-sparkly-conservative vegetarian vampires with hair-issues. If you want to know how, read "Breaking Dawn." Fade to black...
  8. Do you always speak in the First Person Plural?  We don't know what you're talking about. 
  9. Will you ever use a gnome de plume?  Yes. Janiel is: Jane Victor Austen Hugo Mary Aristotle Shelly. Russo is: J. Stephanie K. Meyer Rowling Asimov. Maegan insists on being called "The Great Maegini." 
  10. Do you wish you had written "Harry Potter"?  What are you talking about? We did write "Harry Potter".
  11. How about "The Lord of the Rings"?  No. But Viggo Mortenson was our idea.
  12. Do you have any crazy hobbies?  No. But Viggo Mortenson was our idea.
  13. If you were stuck on a desert island, what one thing would you want with you?  On a dessert island we would want Maggie Moo's dark chocolate ice cream and a whole lot of Swedish Fish. And Viggo Mortenson. Who we think is also Swedish. Plus, note the fish reference with regard to us being on an island. This is why we are writers.
  14. How did you three meet?  At a swap-meet. Where we swapped-meat. Really it was at an underground Lawrence Welk convention. Truly it was during the Blitz. We were hiding in the London underground. Underground. But actually we shared plastic surgeons. We don't remember.
  15. Which one of you used to be engaged to Viggo Mortensen? Me.
  16. The whole Viggo-thing is getting old. Do you have plans to stalk someone new for a change? Well, Russo is considering Donald Trump. Janiel can't decide between Richard Armitage and James McAvoy. Or her husband. Maegan still has her little Aragorn obsession going. I mean, we try to get her to branch out, but . . .
  17. Years are passing. You're all gaining experience. Any life-wisdom you'd like to share? Yes. As you get older and your hair thins, try growing your eyebrows out and combing them back.
  18. Any writers you've learned from, or that you would consider secret-mentors?  Oh, for sure. Ayn Rand. JK Rowling. Shakespeare. Aesop. And Webster. He just wrote one book, but DUDE. It was epic. We've also learned a lot from the notes written by Mr. Cliff.