~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Living with a schizophrenic

Let's get intensely personal. My main goal with writing is to help at least one person deal with their life. Some might not like this topic choice. I'm going to be real and honest.

How to chase a dream when someone you love is mentally ill.

Chasing a dream is hard stuff. You have elements that are out of your control that slam up against you. How you react to problems will determine your future. Some problems are trivial. Others, not so much.

This past year I have had to face the truth that someone dear to me is not mentally well. I have known this truth for as long as I can recall but dealing with it is another story. *Please note that there are many levels of schizophrenia, some cases are mild, some are more advanced. What I write may ring similar to some but every case is different.

That said, I cannot watch the movie, A Beautiful Mind. And that's saying a lot, because I adore Jennifer Connelly and Paul Bettany. I cannot watch the movie because I have lived that life.

The person I love has rejected me countless times, not because I wasn't theirs but because they were so deep in the darkness I didn't really exist. I am flesh and bone and the more real you are to someone who is not mentally well, the more you do not exist.
This is not in your control, nor is it in theirs.

The only thing you can control is yourself. How you react and how well you live your life.

Chasing your dream is even more complicated when dealing with mentally issues of a loved one. In truth, there are times that I am super hard on myself. I am working on that.

Schizophrenia can take a toll but it has also been one the best blessing I could be given. Because of the disease, I am able to see the beauty in life. In my case, the person is gifted and talented beyond the norm. I get to see the world through their eyes. I'm lucky.

An existence can be fragile and fleeting. The beauty is realizing the hardest situations are the ones mold you. I'm better because of schizophrenia.

19 comments:

shelly said...

There's always a full rainbow at the end of a dark tunnel.

Apron Senorita said...

Dear friend, I can definetly relate. My grandmother had schizorprenia for over 50 years. She just passed away October 27th. She was the sweetest person in the world. There were times that it was scary for me as a young girl to see her when she wasn't on her medication. But as I grew older I realized that she lived a world that only she knew. The majority of the time she had good days when she was loving, caring, and fun. I too feel that I'm better because schizophrenia. I had a grandmother that never judged me. She never held a grudge and she was never unkind. She loved honestly.

Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts. I pray that you have more good days than bad, more smiles than tears, and many wonderful memories in your journey.

Yoli :)

jjsundevil said...

Babygirl your the bravest person I know

Debra Ann Elliott said...

Thanks for stopping by and for your heartfelt comment. I always enjoy your posts as well.

Jessica said...

Hi Russo. I have never dealt with this issue so I don't have something to relate to on this topic.

I wanted to drop by and say hello and say thank you for reading my blog and commenting. I have enjoyed reading your posts and the other ladies as well!

Sara B. Larson said...

That took a lot of courage to post about. Mental illness is one of the hardest trials someone (and their loved ones) can face. You are amazing.

Janiel Miller said...

Russo you are amazing. Lovely post. Thank you for giving us a peek into that world. I also appreciated Yoli's comment. It is so important to try to see and understand everyone, no matter what their struggle is, rather than labeling them.

Thanks.

Linda Pruitt said...

You have a lovely attitude and unconditional love always wins!

Kristina said...

This post is so powerful and real. I love it. Great post.

SillySimple said...

Thank you for sharing this. Really well written, and heartfelt.

I think your writing speaks to a deeper truth about the choices we make, truly loving, and forgiving those around us for their humanity.

MANDY said...

A very open-hearted post. I can totally empathize. My brother-in law has this terrible disease. I didn't know him before, but from what his family and my husband tell me, he was a great, smart, articulate man. Now....very different. Keep thinking and dreaming. Everything happens for a reason.

Ashley said...

Beautiful Post. You have such a great attitude and always find beauty through writing :)

Ellen said...

Thanks for reminding me again to look past the differences and love/appreciate the unique-ness in everyone. ~ Ellen

Lori said...

It takes bravery to write about such topics - so deeply personal. However, these are the posts that can comfort and teach. Most of all, it makes people stop and think!

Toesthattwinkle! said...

your very brave!

Elle Strauss said...

I have a friend who is married to someone with schizophrenia. It's an incredible challenge, but the sickness has made them closer as a couple than many couples hope to be.

Ellen said...

Happy Easter! Hope you had a wonderful weekend... Ellen

Debra Ann Elliott said...

Thanks again for stopping by. Your comments are always appriciated.

1 Funky Woman said...

I think it takes an amazing person to say that you are better because of schizophrenia. The word is used so loosely these days because we like to say everyone is a little crazy. Thats gotta be hard when it affects someone you love!

I have a friend whose sister is and how hard it has been on them. I wish she could see it through your eyes and it might help them get through it!

Thinking of you!

Megan