Wednesday, March 28, 2012

I got kicked out of a restaurant

Apparently I have torn my meniscus, basically it's the tendon that structurally supports the knee. Let me tell you, it burns like no other. I got the stupid injury because I tripped while on a date.

On last Saturday Janiel and Maegan went to a writing conference. Me? No, I got to spend the afternoon with Dr. Look-at-you-chest. I swear this guy smelled like cinnamon and vomit.

Anyways, the afternoon stunk so my friend Jameses took me to late dinner at a fish and chip resteraunt. I can't say the name of the place because we got kicked out.

My friend Jameses had a divine day of dealing with my knee all on an empty stomach. So when the wait service took forever Jameses went postal. We sat at the restaurant for quite sometime without drinks and etc. I suggested we leave and just hit some fast food dive but no, Jameses wasn't having that.

He watched platter and platter arrive at every other table but ours. Most people would walk away but not Jameses. He eyed a platter that went to a nearby table. The meal was cooked in some tinfoil wrapping. The customer set the wrapping to the edge of the table and Jameses went to work.

Jameses leaned over to a man, who we will call Mr. Burp-N-Slurp because seriously that's how he ate, and said, "You using the foil?"

Mr. Burp-N-Slurp didn't even respond, he handed Jameses the foil and trouble ensued.

Jameses wasted not a minute and grabbed my hand sanitizer. He then smoothed out the foil and began writing with the hand sanitizer. His letters were bold and they read out, "SERVICE NOW."

He then took his lighter and lit the sanitizer on fire.

At the moment I didn't think anything of the alcohol in the sanitizer but when the words went a captivating light blue I realized I was watching a mini-fire at my table.

I started to bust a gut, tears were rolling down my eyes as Mr. Burp-N-Slurp cheered at the fire. The manager came zooming down the eisle, his brows were so furrowed they looked like a unibrow. It dawned on me, we were so getting kicked out of the restaurant and sure enough that was our fate.

It's been almost a week since Jameses sent his message to the wait staff and I still can't stop giggling. I mean, seriously, who lights hand sanitizer on fire to send a message? Only my deranged Jameses and I love him for it.


Janiel Miller said...


Hi. Larious.

And I'm serious, Russo. We are SO doing lunch with Jameses. He owes me. I made his totally awesome man-bracelet.

Maegan Langer said...

I just . . . I don't even know what to say about that.

William Kendall said...

Note to self: don't piss off Jameses.

Second note to self: when annoyed by irritating sisters, send Jameses after them.