Embrace the Suck

Sometimes life just doesn't go our way. On Christmas day I came down with a nasty cold and lemme tell you, I am not good with sick. I blow my nose like a moose in mating season.

As I sniffled through the Muppet's Christmas Carol my step dad, who was once in the military, whispered in my ear, "Sometimes you have to embrace the suck."

I had never heard that military slogan before and all night I kept thinking of it's meaning. My dear friends, some day's are not going to go our way. The battle toward our dream is a hard but rewarding fight. While there are beautiful moments that recharge our drive there are also going to be rough days.

Maybe we should start thinking like the men and woman in the armed forces.
They are strong and brave. These warriors know how to embrace the suck. And they are better for it. Let's keep going, keep moving. Let's fight for our dream.

Happy Holidays

All of us here at Challenging the Gnome wish you a safe and Merry Christmas.

May you have loads of eggnog, yummy food and dear people surrounding you.

We are grateful to have you as friends.

Never forget, you are gifted beyond measure

When I think of all my friends, I am amazed. Some are writers who are honest with their thoughts and make people laugh, others are great with nature and some can write a review for a romance novel that makes me get on Amazon pronto. And if you wondered if I'm chatting about you, chances are I am.

My friends, each and every one of you have been gifted beyond measure. You have an extraordinary talent and it's remarkable.

I do not know about you but there are moments that I wonder why I have been given a certain set of problems. I see where my road has lead me. I shared a room with my mom until the age of 12. We are tight. I have a father who I wish I got along with and yes, I'll be the first to admit, I am a recovering pill popping addict-10 years and 4 months sober.

The fact of the matter is- our struggles make us, well, us.

Everything that you have been through is not in vain. You have learned a lesson and in turn that lesson feeds your talent. Cherish your struggles because they make you stronger.

Keep going, keep climbing

Some days just don't go as planned. I wanted to jet my lil toukus over to my writing group on Thursday. After spilling soda all over my white lacy dress, I get a phone call from someone dear to me. This year has been a struggle for him, he is losing his eye sight.

So , instead of doing what I want, I pop a U-turn, get cussed at from a HOTT driver in a grey truck and trek on over to my friend's house. He needs a shoulder to lean on, I am there.

My friends, we are in the fight for our dream. It's a long, hard battle but the fact of the matter is- we have people in our lives who need us. Sometimes we have to forgo our needs for theirs. And that's okay because being a pillar of strength to someone can refresh and inspire you for your own dream.

My twilight loving sister knocked out a Harry Potter fan

Before I forget, we are pleased to announce that Jennifer Beckstrand, (Amish romance author) will be guest posting for Janiel on Friday. I personally cannot wait!

This winter season has been all about moving. My parents moved into a charming cottage with a winding driveway over Thanksgiving. Of course a Holiday in my family cannot be met without drama. And the major scuffle was between my two sister-in-laws.

I mean the holidays are stressful enough but when you add moving into the mix something horrid happens between clashing personalities. Okay, so here's the dirt.

One of my sister-in-laws is a MAJOR Twilight fan and the other prefers Harry Potter. She even named her pet bird Dumbledore.

So, while I am helping my brother move the sofa, the Harry Potter lover begins dissing Twilight and how it's a book about finding a boyfriend and not a real novel-blah, blah. The Twilight lover goes postal. She begins flicking her nails in the air and cussing.

My brother drops his end of the sofa as I go careening to the wood floor. The fight is on. All I hear is a mash-up of words between the two, "Kristin Stewart, goblins, J.K.--shut the crap up."

My Harry-Potter-loving-sister lunges at Mrs. Twilight. This is the clash of two fandoms. One has a bloody nose, the other a ripped shirt.

Sadly, neither of them won because they ended of breaking my mom's beloved Santa candy dish. And a fight between Harry Potter and Twilight now means nothing because no one messes with my mom and her Santa decorations.

The good news- the dish was salvaved and so was Mrs. Twilight and H.P. Lover's sisterly bond. The two had to take a glass making class together to salvage the sucker and I got to be their referee. JOY to the world.

Katy Perry- incredibly inspiring

This weekend I watched a special on E about Katy Perry. Love her or hate her, she said the most fascinating quote, "You got to go on a journey to fulfill your dream."

Granted I paraphrased the quote a touch but the message is still the same. My friends, we are on a path to our dream. And each day we struggle to reach our goal. No matter what we are pursuing we often imagine the end result-be that publication, a finished art piece or etc. But the truth is-this moment, right here, leads us to our dream.

The tears, frustration and friendships that we form while pursuing our hearts desire is the journey. You can't have the end result without the journey.

There is something beautiful that awaits you. Your dream is going to help people. Keep going, keep climbing.

Happy Turkey Day

There are no words that could express the gratitude we have for our readers/friends.

So many of you return to read our words each week and we are in awe. We are lucky to have you in our lives. More than that, we are grateful for you!

Happy Thanksgiving.

Give yourself some time to recharge

Some people go shopping to refresh their minds and spirit, other people play video games or sports. Me? I have to get in touch with Mother Nature. And lemme tell you, Nature loathes me.

I swear every time I venture out into this wide world, something horrid happens. You, my dear friends, know about the recent skunk episode. If not, here you go, http://threegnomes.blogspot.com/2011/10/embarressing-moment-alert.html

Anyways, this weekend was a farm filled weekend. For three days I resided near a black barn that was nestled in the mountains. Not only did I milk a cow, I also made a farm hand seriously grossed out when I slipped in the goat dung.

I touched a lily pad. Okay, that happened when a rock near the water wobbled under my foot and my sorry-butt went careening into the lake. But hey, I touched a lily pad and that's what matters. Plus, I got a nice shot with my camera, so all is good.

I walked in the rain and got chased by a ticked off goat named Louis.
Drama followed me around every corner and strangely, I feel rejuvinated. Which leads me to a novel idea, instead of pushing ourselves to exhaustion, let's all take a moment for ourselves.

Do what recharges you-doesn't matter what it is, just recharge your battery.

*And remember to check out Maegan's post (it's right below mine) to enter into our giveaway and read about the journey of a fascinating author.

Russo's horrid day

You know those day where nothing goes well? Yep, that would be today for me. I awoke early for an intense day of writing and this is what I see-

My best friend, Jameses lounging in his Snuggie and eating my Coco Pebbles-N-Lucky Charms together in one bowl. First off, EWW. Second off, sitting next to him is my foster cat, Lux. She has a smug look on her face as she has attacked my edits for the day. There's paper all over the floor and Jameses is just eating away and sobbing about some sad sap on the Dr. Phil show.

I shrugged my shoulders-just another day in my house? Wrong, it got collectively worse. In the late afternoon, I was dancing while doing the dishes. Not really the smartest idea but Kanye was blaring so I had to dance. Needless to say, I slipped on the floor.

Later in the day I broke my decorative dish in half. And I wonder, is it is bad sign that I broke a dish with the following saying:

Yep, it's official. I am jinxxed because not but 5 minutes letter I trip down the stairs. My new potted plant tips over and fall on my knee-brilliant.

My friends, some day's just aren't going to go in our favor. And that's okay because usually the day after a sucky day rocks-so, bring on the fun, I say, because tomorrow will be be much better.

Life is a mash-up of joy, sorrow and serenity

The past few weeks have been filled with tragedy. Someone very dear to me is losing their eyesight at a very young age. This person is my rock, they have been through so much already and the thought of them losing their sight makes me pause and reflect.

I write this blog post not for pity or condolences, I am merely trying to to figure out why life can be so beautiful and yet so cruel.

My friends, there is no escaping the truth-life is a complete mash-up of joy, sorrow and serenity. You have not really lived until you face something that is frightening. The trick in surviving is not in the cliche quotes-'it's always darkest before the dawn,' or 'stiff upper lip.'

No, the trick in really living is to look a frightening situation in the eyes and realize-you are stronger than any obstacle that is thrown in your way. Never forget that truth.



The pic was taken during one of my weekend exursions-so peaceful.

My family is dysfunctional and more

Challenge of the Month: Crazy Turkey Day adventure

Most Thanksgivings are filled with food, family and sometimes, fighting. For me, its not a Holiday if the cops aren't called. As my brother says, "We put the fun in dysfunctional."

Let me give you the dirt. A Holiday usually starts with a 10 minute prayer given by my father, who rambles on and on. And just when my eyelids are as heavy as an anvil, my Aunt interrupts him and says, "Oh, just shut up already."

And thus the chaos starts.

I usually plop down in the best seat in the living room-a purple plushy chair near the fire place. I can watch the madness perfectly from my cozy perch as I nibble on my Southern cornbread.

My Uncle, who has one singed eyebrow from deep frying the turkey, carves into the hunk of meat. Okay, normal enough but did I mention he carves the turkey with brand new scissors? Yep, he's on probation and can't use a knife. I smile at his persistence. He knows Thanksgiving is important to my Aunt (his wife) so he focuses on making each slice of meat look beautiful on the plastic red plates.

My other uncle, who is a recovering addict, helps my lil cousin put green olives on his toes. My cousin giggles repeatedly at the frog toes.

All the while, my Aunts and Uncles try to get the other riled up by calling each other majorly dirty words. I mean, words I wouldn't even call my worst enemy.

My Auntie opens a can of beer and burps, while my triplet cousins yammer on and on about some Disney Channel movie. Normal as normal can be until the neighbor-guest begins to pontificate about something that doesn't even matter at the moment, which really riles up my Auntie.

The neighbor and my Auntie get into a heated argument and the neighbor has no idea what tornado he has walked into-Sure, my relatives may seem cruel to other but that's because they are family. They can diss each other but if any outsider disrespects my family, they get eaten alive.

Needless to say, the neighbor gets thrown out of the house, which pissed my dad off. And then all I hear is a slew of cuss words flowing out of the mouth of my Aunts and Uncles. They all combat each other with words as the turkey is passed down a long table.

To me, the madness is calming because underneath all the angst is an understanding-these crazy, dysfunctional relatives would have back in any situation that would scare most people.

Sure, I had a ridiculous upbringing. At age 8, I learned how to pickpocket. When I was a gawky teenager, I could pick a lock with 2 bobby pins. But there has also been goodness, through my dear fam I have also learned how to battle my nasty lil demons. Most importantly, I have learned loyalty, which is the best gift. I'll take the dysfunction any day.

Halloween Short Story Challenge: Lighting yourself on fire is a serious faux pas

Halloween Storytime-Guess what, this story is totally true.

On crisp Halloween night a girl named Rus-crap, let's call her Bette. Anyways, a girl named Bette crushed on a bloke who looked an awful lot like Orlando Bloom. Not the Orlando Bloom of 2011 but more like the one a decade earlier when he played Legolas on Lord of the Rings. This guy of Bette's heart was rocker-hott, long blonde hair with leather pants and a leather cuff on his wrist. Can we say swoon?

Anyways, back to the Halloween night from hell. Rus-er, Bette accidentally lit herself on fire.

The goal of the night was to dress in a super yummified costume. Bette wanted to go as a SWAT team member, cute lil skirt and all. But due to lack of dinero, she had to go as a vamped up Snow White. Which super-hottie Rocker didn't mind at all.

On that night, they bought a whole slew of pumpkins and ran them over with his Mustang. Which did you know if you run over pumpkins repeatedly, you will get a flat tire? After laughing so hard their lungs hurt, they explored the whole town hand in hand.

When super-hottie Rocker took her home the moment of the big kiss at the door step loomed over the two. Rocker put his hands through his long hair and then grabbed Bette's waist. He stole a long, passionate kiss.

Bette was majorly grooving on the guy. She adjusted her feet and grabbed the bloke's hair. She felt a lit Jack o' Lantern near her toes but didn't care. Rocker had her hooked with his soft lips.

And she continued to not care, so much that her long dress grazed over the top of the lit jack o' lantern. The hem of her dress caught on the flame of the candle and because Karma has it in for her the dress caught on fire.

Russ-er, Bette didn't even notice until Rocker sniffed the air and said, "Do you smell a fire?"

Flames danced around the hem of her dress and thankfully, the only thing that saved her legs from burning was her leather boots. Well, her leather boots AND Rocker, who came to her rescue.

The actual fire was put out but in its place a new fire had totally taken over Bette and Rocker. Ah, the flames of love. And man, do they consume and fast.

I got mistaken for a hooker

Yep, the title is right. And to think I wasn't even wearing my thigh high leather boots.

Lemme give you the dirt. I was a tad cranky because I wasn't able to see Lion King with Maegan and Janiel this weekend. The past few days have been filled with redunkulous demands. So, instead of stressing I found a way to bargain with my bestie, Jameses. I would deliver his four large boxes of hair products to a salon downtown, if he would go to the bank for me and take some money out of my account. I needed some dough for a serious shop-a-thon.

After our errands, we'd meet up up at the sushi bar for grub. So, after nearly falling flat on my face while walking up ten flights of stairs in my bold buckled stiletto-heeled booties. And getting stuck in traffic. Not to mention accidentally flashing the bloke in the car next to me, I arrived at the bar and plunked my toukus down on the stool. Jameses kissed me on the cheek and passed me a wad of cash.

The server, who looked like a cross between Frankenstein and Chris Brown, couldn't stop staring. He stared at my booties and curve hugging dress and said, "We don't allow your type in here."

Jameses went into a fit, his eyes nearly went cross-eyed as he said, "Is it because I'm gay?"

The guy did a double take and said, "We don't care about that, its just . . . you can't pay a hooker and expect me not to say something."

I launch into a giggling fit and start flipping my head around, trying to find the lady of the night. I take a sip of my lemon water and say, "Wait, where is she? I wanna see."

The server then fidgets as he stands in place and says, "Ma'am, don't play coy. I know what you are."

My excitement vanishes as I realize I won't see the hooker because this bloke thinks I'm the hooker. I'm baffled because why wouldn't he think differently? I'm wearing stiletto booties and being handed a wad of cash by a man who freely kisses me on the cheek and smacks my rump when I hit the restroom.

So, instead of getting pissed at this server's assumptions, I smile widely. At least he thinks I worth a wad of cash. Sure, the bills might be ones but the server doesn't know that, all he sees is a wad of $dinero.

The lesson is simple-sometimes people will judge you. You can't control where their mind will go but the trick is to not care. Which is harder than ever at times.

Embarrassing moment alert

October Challenge: Halloween month adventures

This week was my step dad's 60th birthday and the one thing he asked from me was to head out of town and hit fruit stand way.

He expected a purely country experience where we browsed though side street produce stands and heard the crunch of Fall leaves on the ground. His eyes shined as he talked about his picturesque weekend where the family sipped apple cider on a porch, listened to nothing but the quietness of the mountains. Unfortunately, what he got was the exact opposite of his wish.

Sure, we drove up the mountains and enjoyed the cool fall weather but we also got a flat tire. No biggie. My date, who was a country boy from the deep South, helped fix the flat. I was completely baffled that this bloke was mine and began to pace the asphalt. I stared at the trace of black smudged all over his cheek and thought, "Oh, yeah, this dude has earned his bonus points-changing a flat, spending time with my 'rents."

So, instead of watching my footing, I get distracted as my mom begins screaming, like she has a squirrel in her shirt.

And instead of acting cool and just glancing around to see what was up, I began screaming as well. Me and nature so don't mix.

My mom's hands are shaking and she says, "Skunk, look out."

But she's too late, I end up tripping over the skunk and as a sweet gift to my sorry-butt the lil animal emitted his nasty smell all over me.

The skunk tottered off and at this point, I am shocked. I stand there with my mouth open and staring at everyone's grossed out faces.

My mom glances at the fixed SUV and says, "You smell like someone wiped cow dung all over you."

I cannot stop giggling as I say, "Really? I thought I smell like lavender and cake."

I then get delegated to the back of the SUV by the groceries, produce and etc. My long legs are crammed and I am sitting on a flashlight. I smell like cow dung, as my mom repeatedly reminds me. I am as uncomfortable as a hobbit in a hatbox.

With a sigh, I wipe the dirt off my legs. I lean to my left and rest my head on the seat in front of me. To my surprise, hott country guy turns and faces me. He places his calloused hand on my arm and wipes the hair out of my face.

There are no thoughts of skunks or flat tires, I feel rejuvenated and calm.

Needless to say, Fall is my new fave season-thanks to a country boy from the deep South.

Navy EOD-what can you learn from these brave warriors?

One of my fave shows is Surviving the Cut on Discovery Channel. They delve into what it takes to make it in the military elite. This week they focused on the Navy's Explosive Ordnance Disposal crew. They are highly trained technicians who analyze and handle explosives.

I bet you're thinking, "Great, what does this have to do with me?"

You want your dream? You gotta learn from the finest go-getter's ever. Every day they give 100% because they know if they slack there are no do-overs. Navy EOD's are relentless- they continue on despite physical exhaustion. The key to their success is to shift their mental focus. Having a bad day? Clear your mind. Forget about your tiredness, hurt muscles or etc.

Stretch yourself as hard as you can- the end result will be worth it.

PS- If you want a more in depth look at the Navy EOD crew, watch The Hurt Locker. Please note the movie is pretty intense and not for everyone.

A lil pep talk just for you

Is it possible to get tweeked on Green Tea? I ask that with a smile because I, unknowingly, ingested the equivalent of 4 tea bags of green tea. At the moment, I am more spastic than a squirrel on speed.

Anyways, today I'm wondering why we, as dreamers, are so hard on ourselves? While sitting in a gorgeous sitting room at a fancy schmancy hotel I felt horribly out of place. Most of the ladies in this room are dressed in flouncy floral skirts with velvet shoes. Me? I am garbed in my usual plaid chucks with my brand spanking new leather headband.

I can't help but overhear random strangers bag on themselves. Even my sister babbles on and on about how horrid she is at everything. After a while, I began to wonder why we (myself included) only see the faults in ourselves. Why don't we see how awesome we are?

Maybe you haven't heard a compliment in a while or maybe you are depleted from the demands of life. Well, never fear, Russo is here. And lemme tell you that you are freaking incredible.

The fact that you are chasing your dream is rather remarkable. Never forget that your efforts are making a difference. You are fighting for your dream-no matter what is thrown in your path-keep fighting. And never forget-you're freaking incredible.

How NOT to wear thigh high leather boots

Do you ever just have one of those day where nothings going right? Today I went to a friend's wedding. Where most people attend an event with zero drama, I have to make a complete idjut out of myself.

The only thing that went in my favor was the fact that the bridesmaid dress was stunning. I know, rare right? Maybe you, yourself, have a horrid bridal fashion memory-I'm dying to know about it. Anyways, the dress was dark blue and beautifully long (And with my long legs a flowing skirt is a miracle. )

Anyways, back to the horrid day. I was just leaving my condo when I slipped and fell on the newly waxed floor. I completely destroyed my crocodile embossed high heels. Great, I thought, that's the second pair of shoes I've broken in one month.

So, I had to make a shoe change in less than 5 minutes. Instead of opting for a simple black shoe like a normal person I had to add some flair. Out came the thigh high leather boots. I figured they were wedding appropriate because the hem of the dress glided along the floor.

How was I to know the line of the boots showed in every picture? Not only was I mortified but I also got cussed out by the bride, who hadn't eaten anything all morning. Oh, she was livid at my sorry-butt. So, I scrambled around in my clutch to find her a granola bar and stat. She calmed down, grateful for the food. Mid her apology for her snipping comment, a bird flew over head and pooed on my hair. Everyone is watching-her mom, who has more class than the Queen, the hott guy who's my date and the bride's teacup poodle.

Somehow, I look more ridiculous than the dog who's wearing a yamaka.

Anyways, the lesson of the story? Roll with the difficult times because they might just bring the best reward ever.

Lemme give you the dirt. At the end of the night, I sat with my legs elevated in regal fainting couch. In walks my super-hott date, who declares that the country club has a vacant pool. We stroll up the little hill and while everyone celebrates the bride and groom leaving for their honeymoon, I gaze at the moon lit water. I can see super-hotties reflection. And on a day filled with drama, bird catastrophe and more, I let go of the stress. Exhale deeply and leap into the pool.

Fight for your dream

September challenge: Back to School

Lets be honest- when chasing your dream you're gonna have to fight for what you want.

For the past two years, I have had nothing but conflict circle around my writing dream. My family wants me to go back to college and focus on social work. And I get their confusion. I'll be the first to admit in high school I used my English class as a personal siesta hour.

I think that's why I am so grateful for my blogging and writing friends. They support and cheer you on like other. A big thank you to ya'll!

So, how do you fight for what you want when others believe its the wrong path. I learned from my writing teacher, you listen but in the end, you have to do what makes you happy. Focus on the love of the game-whether is be writing, painting or sports. The rest will work itself out with hard work.

I think Shaun White (2-time Olympic gold medalist snowboarder) summed it up best. In Vogue Magazine, he said, "It's funny because everybody asks me what I'm thinking about when I'm dropping in. And the thing is, I'm about to do something really focused. You don't hear anything. You don't think about anything. It just naturally happens."

Let your dream naturally happen. There's gonna be conflict but in the end, the struggle will be worth it.

This week I got banned from an office supply store

Let's be honest. My brain's a lil fried today. This week I've practically lived at a Kinko's knockoff store. Which would be all right for any other person but nooo- I have to be the idiot that breaks the copy machine. And it all started with those ridiculously high platform shoes.

Oh, my brand new shoes are more sparkly than the Eiffel Tower lit up at night. And now, they are broken because I tripped over a cord and rammed into the copy machine. Let's be honest, momentum and my 6'2 tall body are not a good combo. My body just flew across tile, like I was sliding into home.

So, not only did I have to find a way to resolve the fact that I demolished a copy machine but I also had to gather up my dignity and stroll out the door.

Let's just say after a stupid start to the week I retreated to bed. Where my new foster cat Eponine decided now would be good time to vomit on my head. Seriously? My head!

I awoke not but 10 minutes ago and all I want to do is tuck back into bed and forget the world-but who doesn't want that, right?

We push ourselves so hard to achieve our dreams. We deal with tons of crap, I vote we take a moment for ourselves. You wanna see a movie? Go for it! Been dying for ice cream? Treat yourself and pronto. Because the only way we can continue fighting for our dream is to look out for ourselves.

How to achieve sobriety

Let's get intensley personal.

Today, I about had a mini heart attack.

I walked, okay, more like tripped with style, with my little neice to her summer school program. In between a bite of pop-tart coated with peanut butter, she says, "Mommy says you're made of angel dust."

Her one sentence causes me to stammer. I know she overheard my sister blabbling about my party monster days. The lil niece has no idea that angel dust is slang for a drug. She just thinks angel dust sounds magical.

I knew this day would come but not at freaking 7 years old. The only thing I can do is give her a super mild drug talk and hope that she makes better choices then I did.

In truth, we are bombarded with stories of addiction. So, how do you chase a dream when battling a deadly disease? The trick is to take sobriety one day, or even one hour at a time. Cliche but true. I would be lying if I said, its easy to face yourself and your fears.

Sobriety is an on-going process. You have to be constantly aware of your triggers and weak moments. And it doesn't just start with day one of coming clean. There are many resourses for you. There's therapy, support groups and yes, there's hope.

If you have a loved one who is in the thoes of addiction- of any kind- do not forget that one word-HOPE. Yes, there are the stories of tragic losses. I have already lost two close friends before the age of 30. But for every downfall of an individual, there is also a success story of beating the addiction.

Horrid situations while on an operating table

Its nice to know that I still have the ability to gross people out. I say that with a smile. I don't know about you but I don't deal with health trials very well. The other day, I had dental surgery.

I made a complete fool out of myself. I'm pretty open with my past- you all know I was a bit of a party monster. Sure, nowadays I am subdued but who knew my past would help.


Yesterday I gave everyone in the operating room a surprise. The nurse did a horrible job of finding my vein . No joke, she stuck the needle in my arm, couldn't find a vein, so she just twirled the needle in my flesh. It was the sickest thing I have ever had to endure. What would you have done in my situation? I'm dying to know because I turned into an absolute control freak.


After five minute of dealing with her incompetence, I told her, "Give me the needle now."

I then proceeded to open and close my hand really fast. She just stared at me. All the while, I held the needle, smacked my forearm, found the vein and shoved the sucker in.


Yep, a party girl past does have its benefits.


The lesson: there are some situations in life that you don't get to pick. Even so, sometimes your biggest mistakes can be a blessing in disguise. They teach you to be mentally strong and they also help you deal with trials. Embrace your mistakes, I say. And if not, make a fool of yourself. It makes life way more exciting.

Digging out a bullet wound

Most people don't know this but I can stitch a wound like no other. Needle, string and all. One of my relatives was the woman they based Dr. Quinn medicine woman on- my mom repeatedly tells me the story of that ancestors life but I never listen. So, I can't tell you any more on that subject. Although, now I am curious who you, the readers, are related to.

Anyways, this weekend was full of gross and disgustingly-cool mini surgeries. And they were done all on my kitchen floor. So, at 2am, I am dancing around to Kanye West trying to get over my writers block when I hear this super loud screaming outside my condo. Would you have gone outside if you heard screams? Just curious because my sorry-butt went running out the door, all while in my Hello Kitty PJ's. I can't believe I just admitted I wear Hello Kitty attire.

The cries sound like mix of a bat and owl in a standoff- I knew immediately the guy in trouble was my bestie, Jameses. The dude is shaking in pain. He has BB gun pellet gashes all over his tatted up body and one mean bullet wound. I don't even wanna know what mischief he got into while shooting soda cans in a remote country farm.

He's crying like a baby (I'm sorry, Jameses but you really were.) So I had to dig the bullet out and dress the wound.

Then his friend- who looks like a lot like Simon Baker, lifts his shirt sleeve up and says, "Maybe you could clean this wound too. I've had it for about a week."

Could you resist a guy that looks as hott as the Mentalist? Because I so couldn't.

Jameses informs me the wound's sickening. I shrug my shoulders and grab my tools. The problem- the wound was seriously infected. The puss was green and the gash was as big as my large toe. I was beyond nervous. I've never dealt with an infection that bad.

I grabbed a wooden spoon (I resisted the urge to smack Mr. Simon, the hottie and Jameses for being complete idjuts) and placed the spoon in his mouth.

Without saying a word, I dug the infection out of the wound. I won't go into detail but let's just say there was a lot of cussing involved. And sure, I almost barfed in the process but I have to say, it was pretty cool.

Lesson learned-Not only did I score a date with Mr. Handsome but I also learned that the scary stuff is where the real growth really lies. The more you have to dig deep,the better you will be. Whatever dream you choose to pursue requires you to have no fear. Just go for it.

Update- I may have snagged Mr. Handsome's digits but the poor bloke had to be turned down. The definition of hott is pretty vast where I am concerned but I have to say that gangrene is a HUGE turn off. Plus, someone else has me totally intrigued.

Author Interview! With a REAL author! Caleb Warnock: Part 2

*Big announcement

Caleb Warnock, our Literary God-Like Instructor, has released his first book, the Forgotten Skills of Self-Sufficiency. And lemme tell you, this book is definitely a good read because of the incredible skills it teaches you.

When opening this book, you are immeditely taken aback by the stunning photos. This man lives in paradise. Yummy food, vibrant colors and all.

Secretly, I've always wanted to have a bit of Martha Stewart-like qualities. But alas, where she uses her kitchen to whip up a good meal, I use mine as an operating room to extract BB gun pellets (more on that another day.)

Caleb's book has helped me get even closer to my goal of self-sufficiency. And trust me, if I can attempt the skills in his book, anybody can. And the recipes are divine. His succulent slow roasted vegetables are delectable.

This man is a genius, in writing and in life. He's one of the few people that can look me in the eye and tell me that I am full of crap. He's also someone who can make me dig down deep and try harder. You are in great hands with this person.

Below is a clip Janiel made of our venture into Caleb's garden. You'll see his stunning garden full of things like stevia and Jerusalem artichokes. You will also meet his dog and darling chickens (which you can try to name and win a free copy of Mr. Warnock's book.) Read Maegan's post for more details. (Its right below mine)

This video is rare - you get a one millisecond shot of moi. Caleb offers us gnomeslayers a piece of fig and I (in typical fashion) cuss.

In this video, we see a few more plants and the neighbor horse and Janiel has to calm my sorry-butt down.

Author Interview! With a REAL Author! And a Contest! Caleb Warnock: Part 1

That was the intrepid Janiel, reporting from Caleb Warnock's chicken coop. The Gnome Slayers owe a lot to Caleb, not the least being that we first met each other in his writing class. To celebrate the publication of his first book, FORGOTTEN SKILLS OF SELF-SUFFICIENCY USED BY THE MORMON PIONEERS, the three of us invaded his back yard with a video camera. We discovered that not only does he know a whole heck of a lot about writing, he also knows a whole heck of a lot about gardening. And Eqyptian walking onions. And exploding eggs.

We're so excited for Caleb's book to come out, we're going to be celebrating all week! Oh yeah, and we're also giving away a free copy, signed by the author. We each got our own signed copies too, so we can honestly say that the book is awesome! And user-friendly. And full of pretty, pretty pictures that Caleb took himself.

We learned in that last video that Caleb has 33 chickens. That's a lot of chickens, folks. And they all need names. Russo and I named three of them, as you will see in a later episode, but there's still 30 left. So if you would like your very own, signed copy of THE FORGOTTEN SKILLS OF SELF-SUFFICIENCY USED BY THE MORMON PIONEERS, just leave a name for one of Caleb's chickens in the comments on any post this week. Leaving a comment on more than one post means you have more than one chance to win. But you must leave a chicken name in your comment in order for it to count as an entry. We will announce a winner via random drawing next Monday. Easy enough, right?

Here's more about the book from Caleb's blog:

7/25/11– Provo, Utah -- Journalist Caleb Warnock announces the Aug. 8 2011 release of his book, “Forgotten Skills of Self-Sufficiency Used by the Mormon Pioneers,” on pre-sale now at Amazon.com.

Many people dream of becoming self-reliant during these times of fluctuating prices and uncertain job security. Using truly simple techniques, you can cultivate the pioneer's independence to provide safety against lost wages, harsh weather, economic recession, and commercial contamination and shortages. Strengthen your family's self-reliance as you discover anew the joy of homegrown food, thrift, and self-sufficient living.

Using truly simple techniques, homestead families harvested sweet, crisp carrots out of the snow-blanketed garden soil in December. They raised robust summer vegetables without expensive seed catalogs or nurseries. They created spectacular flower gardens at no cost. They ate fresh out of the garden twelve months a year, a skill that has now all but vanished. Their self-sufficiency provided security against lost wages, harsh weather, economic depression and recession, and commercial contamination and shortages.

Today, that kind of family security and self-reliance has never been more appealing. Many of the pioneer techniques are now lost to the general population. I was lucky enough to grow up in the kitchens and gardens of the last generation to provide family meals without relying on the grocery store. They managed their family budgets by putting to work centuries of received wisdom about food and self-sufficient living. My book teaches the reader just how simple and fulfilling the path to increased self-reliance can be, along with the pleasure of eating fresh garden produce with robust, homegrown flavor twelve months of the year.

This is not a book about bottling peaches or digging a root cellar. This book begins to overcome the myth that self-reliant living is practical only for up-before-dawn farmers or green-thumb gardeners with huge yards and no social life. The reality is that self-sufficiency need not be elaborate, time-consuming, or back-breaking. Any modern family can be strengthened by discovering these forgotten skills:

Growing Hardy and Perennial Vegetables: From Egyptian walking onions to self-seeding lettuce and spinach which thrives in below-freezing temperatures, our ancestors knew how to benefit their families with vigorous strains of garden goods. The early homesteaders ate fresh corn on the cob long after snow covered the ground and homegrown tomatoes at Thanksgiving -- with flavor beyond anything offered in today’s grocery stores.

Home-Grown Garden Seed: How did the pioneers garden without relying on seed catalogs and nurseries? Open-pollinated seed in the garden is the vegetable equivalent of wheat in food storage. My book explains the pioneer seed bank, the pros and cons of open-pollinated and hybrid garden seed, and a new effort now underway to revive it.

Eat Fresh in Winter: Following in the footsteps of the settlers, savvy modern gardeners can store their carrots, onions, parsnips, turnips, and beets over winter by leaving them exactly where they grew in the garden, or by using their garage!

Fresh Eggs: Taking a Second Look: Eggs were among the most valued homegrown pioneer foods. My book discusses how the backyard chicken coop disappeared, and why many cities, petitioned by residents, are allowing them once again. What every family should know when considering whether a few backyard hens might be right for them.

Baking with Pioneer Yeast: Learn about the health and nutrition benefits of baking with pioneer yeast instead of commercial quick-rise yeasts. Learn how bread was made for thousands of years before yeast was every sold in a grocery store.

Forgotten Recipes : Delicious hunger-gap omelets, roast vegetables, winter pioneer treats, family-pleasing meals entirely from the garden and storeroom, heritage recipes, and more.

Caleb Warnock is a full-time journalist and have been working for a central Utah daily newspaper for the past ten years. He has won more than 20 awards for journalism and creative writing, including the Utah Arts Council Original Writing Contest, the David O. McKay Essay Contest, and voted top reporter in Utah. His freelance publications range from articles on wolf-watching in Yellowstone to backyard poultry-keeping to perennial gardening. He has published several true stories about his ancestors in the Friend magazine. Caleb is a full-time journalist for Provo's Daily Herald.

"Forgotten Skills of Self-Sufficiency Used by the Mormon Pioneers" is available at bookstores everywhere, in addition to Walmart and Costco stores, and Amazon.com. Caleb Warnock can be reached at cwarnock@heraldextra.com.

"Forgotten Skills of Self-Sufficiency Used by the Mormon Pioneers" by Caleb Warnock

Cedar Fort Publishers

$16.99, available Aug. 8 2011

Is the Word 'Never' in Your Vocabulary?

It has come to my attention that I use the word 'never' way too much. Lemme give you the dirt, I just got cussed out by my tennis instructor. No, not the hot one but the guy who looks like a mix of Einstein and Mel Gibson. Not a pretty combo.

He asked me to run in place while hitting the ball. I looked at him like he had slime all over his body and said, "With a sprained ankle, I could never do that."

He then proceeded to yell (in Mel Gibson fashion), "Do you know much time you waste saying never?"

The problem is- the guy's right. As a dreamer, the word never shouldn't be in our vocabulary. We have to tune out the lil negative thoughts that trace our mind. Instead of second guessing yourself, just go for it.

And remember, "The more impossible something is, the more it must be done."

Today I barfed on a cop

*Embarressing moment alert

Yep, the title is correct. I lost my lunch all over the cities finest.

I wish I could say that the man looked disgusting but noooo, I just happened to yak on the hottest cop ever.

Let's back this story up a bit. I'll admit, I was speeding. You would too if you had a gigantic great dane in the backseat. My sister had me dog sit for her because precious Ralphie (that's the name of the great dane) had just been put on a mood stabilizer.

First off, when did dogs get placed on uppers? Seriously. Anways, I'm speeding down the road and the cop's lights are flashing.

The cop exits his car and does the typical thing, "Can I see your liscense and registration."

He returns to his car to check my info and I start shaking. Which really baffles me because my old job required me to have a tough skin. I've had a knife pulled on me, been head butted and punched repeatedly. But somehow, the mere precense of this cop sends me into a tailspin.

My voice is weak, and I am on the verge of tears. My body has completly shut down. I tried to collect myself but I just couldn't. My throat begins to feel a tickle. My stomache acid is going out of control. With utter abandon, I empty my stomache contents onto the poor policeman's shoes.

There is nothing to say. I am mortified at this point. I wipe my mouth and whisper, "I'm sorry, I'm just really nervous."

The cop was ever-so nice. He did nothing more than smile and helped me calm down.

The lesson of the story? Well, there isn't one. Sometimes you're gonna make choices that have consequences. Some horrid and some just plain embarressing. It's one of the joys of life. Sometimes you gotta live with it. And laugh at the crazy moments.

One year anniversary

This month marks our one year anniversary and I am grateful beyond words. Writing two blogs has been the craziest-cool experience I could be given. I have met some of the most incredible people during this process called writing. My smashing writing group, fellow bloggers who are making a difference with their words. And I have reconnected with longtime friends.

You're all on the path to greatness. I'm so grateful to know you and call you friend.

Thank you for reading this blog. Thanks for your insightful comments and more importantly, your friendship.

And cheers to my blogging team, Janiel and Maegan. You both are so dear to me. These two ladies have taught me that I am more than my past. They helped me dig deep and grow as a writer and as a person. The second I met these two I was amazed by their talent and grace.


Janiel is fire-ball of energy, she uses that in her life and writing. She has a unique voice that draws the reader in. She knows how to speak her mind well. She looks out for her friends. And she is never without a good story. Janiel notices things about people because she truly cares. This is the woman who gave me the courage to face my dad. We had many car rides together where she helped me piece together my life and etc.


The first time I met Maegan I was in awe. Writing is in her blood, she's inspiring. She can construct a sentence like no other. She's sweet, kind and smart as whip. Maegan's the kind of person that looks out for the underdogs. Her ability to care for animals shows her benevolent ways. Plus, she is accomplished-traveled to Europe, worked in Africa. I know no one like her (and that's a great thing.)


These two ladies have become my dearest friends, they know so much dirt about me. Yet, they never judge (And trust me, they could)

I'm a lucky girl. Thank you to everyone who has supported our blog and our lives.

Fire works and physical therapy

For the past year, I have been in physical therapy with my foot. I have a screw holding my arch together-an injury brought on by my own stubbornness.

This week while grinding it out with my therapist he said the most fascinating quote. Maybe it will help you in your journey toward your dream.

After an excruciating day with weights, he stared at me and said, "It's not happening because you want it too much. Just stop for a moment and breathe."

Which got me thinking, how often to we push for our wishes to happen the way we want it to?

Sure our dreams require us to have an absolute drive toward the goal. But what would happen if every now and then we took a step back and breath. Allow the dream to have some air.

This is my example of wanting something so badly and then finally taking a step back. Its written with my grandma in mind.

As a little girl I wanted to see the fireworks with you. Bask in their splendor while listening to the pops and booms all around us. You, in your moccasins, me, in my pigtails and tights. But wishes never come true when you want them desperately.

You passed away before I ever got my wish. For twenty-one years bouquets of fire have flashed in the night sky. Some Independence Days were rainy, others were sweltering hot. Year after year, I wished you were near me.

And just when I had laid to rest my burning desire, you surprised me.

On the Fourth of July 2011, I sit on a blanket across the street from your grave. The crickets chirp and the air is warm. I didn't drive to this spot but somehow, I am here.

My dearest friend smiles wildly and says, "See, I told you this was the perfect place to watch fireworks."

No words would form as I stared at your headstone. I got my wish, just not in the way I had planned.

*And so my friends, the lesson is simple. Just stop for a moment and breath. Everything will work out in time. Until that day, just breath.

PS- We have an amazing caption contest going on right now- want some cool prizes? Just check out Maegan's post (it's right below mine) She'll fill you in with the details.

A bug flew up my nose

Today I sprained my ankle and not in some heroic sprint-five-miles-run-till-your-feet-bleed crap. No, I sprained my ankle all because a bug flew up my nose.

Has that ever happened to you? No joke, I played a wicked game of tennis, my feet were flying. I ran to the net and pounded the ball onto Jameses side of the court. I let out a roar and in went the bug up my nasal passages.

I dropped my racket and then danced around the green court like an idjut. My hands were waving and I kept flicking my nose.

I am sure the bug had quite a surprise up there because my nose is all jacked up from getting punched in the nose a handful of times and snorting (ahem, we won't go there.)

Sometimes when chasing a dream lil' annoyance will creep into your life. They will try to take you down or distract you. Don't let them. You are more powerful than you realize. This dream is yours-don't let anything stop you, my friend.

PS- If a bug does happen to fly up your nose, learn from my mistake. #1) Be very gentle when removing the bug because they do bite or your fingernail can scrape the the thin skin in your nostril. #2) Don't panic, the follicles in your nostril are there to protect your body. #3) Apply an ice pack to your nose, it helps with swelling and numbs the pain.

#4) Most importantly, when in doubt always go to the doctors office.

Andre Agassi

This week I was watching a special on Andre Agassi, the tennis great. A few quotes made me think of our own journey to greatness.

"Andre was driven to find his way out of a labyrinth that he was born into. "

I dunno about you but this one plagues me. I'll get a lil personal here with you, growing up, I was a divorced kid living with a single mom, 2 brothers and an absentee father. Needless to say, it was a struggle. But after driving home with a friend a month ago, I realized these life situations make you hungry to succeed. You have nothing, so you have to fight and claw your way to the top.


"I'm not sure Andre would have reached the points and heights that he did without the disappointment and the pitfalls. Andre got every ounce of talent out of his body and brought all of it along for the ride."

I adore this quote for us- you have to have the lows and failures to reach the top.

Let's get every ounce of talent out of us, my friends.

Work hard, or as Andre puts it himself, "My sport was a vehicle for me to discover myself and to push myself."

Rules that Royalty must follow

I dunno about you but it has come to my attention that I am obsessed with fairy tales lately. It all started with that blasted royal wedding.

The other day Jameses was helping sort out my closet (we were in search of my thigh high leather boots) and came across a stack of Prince William and Kate magazines hidden in hat box. I don't know whats freakier, the fact that I'm into fairy tales or the fact that I have them hidden away like dirty magazines.

Maybe its not about the fairy tales at all-maybe we're all wanting a little bit of magic in our lives. The need to go back to our childhood belief that anything is possible.

I babysat my niece this week and we watched Rodgers and Hammerstein's Cinderella. She flitted and floated around the room singing, "Impossible things are happening everyday."

Which made me really think about our dreams and the sacrifices we are making to get there. Never forget my friends that a beautiful future is on the horizon. Can you see it?

*On a side note, did you know that the Royal's have rules? Here are a few things the Queen must live by:

1-Wear hats in public

2-wave at the elbow, not the palm

3-smile gently and walk cautiously

4-and more importantly never pee in a public toilet

Yeah, I'd never make it as royalty.

LeBron James- the king of mental focus

"If you don't fight for what you want, what will you fight for?" Commentary at Roland Garros tennis match.

One of the hardest lessons to learn while chasing your dream is a lil something called focus. All athletes have this quality in spades. Focus is all about centering in on your goal and what you need to do to accomplish it.

My second year of college, I had zilch in the focus department. I was dancing on tables and snorting, well, we won't go into that- but anyways, lets just say, focus wasn't even in my vocabulary. Nowadays, winning the mental battle when chasing a dream is everything.

A few years ago, Vogue magazine did a story on LeBron James. At the time, he was on top of the world-focused and driven. Vogue summed him best"He sinks ball after ball in a shooting drill. And then-a bad shot, a little off. As the next ball reaches his hand, he pauses, just for a millisecond, as if hitting the reboot button. Next shot and all the ones following-dead on."

LeBron learned to readjust himself. I have to say, the 2011 version of LeBron isn't my fave. The more I keep hearing and watching, the more frustrated I get. Maybe Mr. James is unknowingly teaching us a lesson. Find our focus.

The future is bright, my friends. And its waiting for us.

Whip your dream into shape

June Challenge: What to do when your story isn't cooperating

Robert Frost once said, "No tears in the writer, no tears in the reader. No joy in the writer, no joy in the reader."

The dude is right-when chasing a dream there is gonna be a complete mash-up of joy and tears.
Chasing a dream is like life. You can plan all you want but sometimes crap happens. Let's be honest, going for what you want is life is a big risk. One that is thrilling, scary and at times, draining.

What I am learning is the end result of your dream isn't what matters. Sure, publication, an Olympic medal, whatever you pursue is incredible. But that moment is a little bit away. Right now you have to focus on the what you can do within the next 24 hours to reach your goal. The trick is to focus on how you chase your dream. Pursue your passion with absolute purpose.

When I first started writing a typical day went as this- Listen to music, begin thinking of the emotion in the story, curse loudly, write for 2 hours, curse again, stare at the computer in absolute angst for 5 minutes. When I finished stewing, I began the process all over again.

Now, granted I still curse (to my momma's dismay) when I make a mistake. Now, I am taking a cue from the athletes I research- have a short term memory. When you chase a dream you are gonna make mistakes. And you for sure are gonna get frustrated. How can you not get frustrated when you are hungry for success. You want the dream more than anything.

I've learned the trick in pursuing your dream is all about the short term memory. Learn from your mistakes and forget the losses and rejection.

Because in truth, anything you have to do to get to your dream is worth the struggle.

How to deal with the death of a loved one

If I'm gonna be honest I must confess that the past few months has left me riddled with fear. Sure, I chase my dream but with self belief? That would be a NO. Do you know what I mean, my friend? You want something so much but are too riddled with fear to make a move.

Well, finally something has shifted within me and that thing is death.

They say death comes in three's. Well then, I have two down, one more to go. This past month my Uncle Mike (66 years old) and a dear friend named Tiffany (30 years old)has passed away.

Losing them has rattled my drive alive. The time has come to set the fear aside because my friends, there isn't time. You want your dream? Now's the time for action.

Do the thing you fear the most-do it for those you love who have passed away.

PS- I cannot believe I'm about to post a video featuring Nick Jonas of the Jonas Brothers. Even so, the Les Miserables 25th anniversary concert DVD has been blaring constantly at my home. This songs sums up my feelings for this post. Maybe it will help you along your own journey. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dYToP5ZfydE

Race for the cure & race toward your dream

When chasing a dream there is but one rule- Go big or go home. Don't be afraid to put yourself out there for what you believe in. Let me give you an example.

*Embarrassing moment alert

Most people participate in an event like Race for the Cure with zero drama. They simply walk. Me? Well, I have to make an idiot of myself.

Sure, I walked with my mom, who's a cancer survivior, 13 years. We even had a tender moment. She placed her warm hand in mine and said, "I am grateful to be here with you."

I smiled at her, noticing the pure happiness in her smile. And then I tripped over a rock and tumbled to the concrete. And not in a graceful way, mind you. I scrapped my cheek and looked like a thug the rest of the day.

After my cringe worthy moment, I turned around to find my best friend, Jameses in the crowd. Of course, I'm hanging with the bloke in a pink tutu.

Jameses scuttles on up to me and is laughing his tookus off. He throws his arm around my shoulder and whispers, "You really get into your causes, baby-girl."

I stare at him blankly as he gestures down to collar bone and snickers.

Apparently, I raced for the cure with my left boob hanging out of my shirt.

Yep, go big or go home.

Embarrassing moment alert

Before I get going on my post I just wanted to say thank you to all of my dear friends, be that from high school, the writing and blogging community. Anbody who has supported this blog, thank you.

Your kindness means more than you'll ever know. My writing dream is considered taboo amoung some of my family members. So, your comments and kindness are treasured.

With that said, lemme tell you about my dreadful day. I have been walking around the city with a giant sticker on my tookus.

Last night, my sister commandeered my condo with her scrap booking party. Not my idea of fun. So,when I awoke for lunch at a sushi bar with my bestie, I was a bit out of it. I threw on my leather leggings and lace shawl. The day was normal as normal could be- I tripped up the stairs while entering trax, accidentally bonked my head on some meat head's bike. Same old stuff for me.

Lunch was divine. Halfway between a large bite of tuna and cream cheese roll, I realized something was wrong. So, I stood up and had Jameses check out the stitch on my tookus. Apparently, I had a large white sticker with beautiful calligraphy state, "Go confidently in the direction of your dreams."

So, I have to ask- Is that a bad sign that the sticker stuck to my rump says, "Go confidently in the direction of your dreams?"

Are my dreams crap-tastic?

Oh, dear Fate, please let me know.

This Just In

New guest post coming Friday!

Living with a schizophrenic

Let's get intensely personal. My main goal with writing is to help at least one person deal with their life. Some might not like this topic choice. I'm going to be real and honest.

How to chase a dream when someone you love is mentally ill.

Chasing a dream is hard stuff. You have elements that are out of your control that slam up against you. How you react to problems will determine your future. Some problems are trivial. Others, not so much.

This past year I have had to face the truth that someone dear to me is not mentally well. I have known this truth for as long as I can recall but dealing with it is another story. *Please note that there are many levels of schizophrenia, some cases are mild, some are more advanced. What I write may ring similar to some but every case is different.

That said, I cannot watch the movie, A Beautiful Mind. And that's saying a lot, because I adore Jennifer Connelly and Paul Bettany. I cannot watch the movie because I have lived that life.

The person I love has rejected me countless times, not because I wasn't theirs but because they were so deep in the darkness I didn't really exist. I am flesh and bone and the more real you are to someone who is not mentally well, the more you do not exist.
This is not in your control, nor is it in theirs.

The only thing you can control is yourself. How you react and how well you live your life.

Chasing your dream is even more complicated when dealing with mentally issues of a loved one. In truth, there are times that I am super hard on myself. I am working on that.

Schizophrenia can take a toll but it has also been one the best blessing I could be given. Because of the disease, I am able to see the beauty in life. In my case, the person is gifted and talented beyond the norm. I get to see the world through their eyes. I'm lucky.

An existence can be fragile and fleeting. The beauty is realizing the hardest situations are the ones mold you. I'm better because of schizophrenia.

Ways to not get stoned at a party

Lesson learned-when at a party with strangers do not ever eat the chocolate cookies. Because like it or not, you will get stoned. I know, I know, you are thinking- how in the world is this gonna help me chase my dream? Stick around, I might surprise you.

Lemme give you the dirt. Last night, I unknowingly got myself high. At 5pm, I played a wicked game of tennis. As a result of pushing myself too hard, I dropped my guard. Have you ever been so tired you will do whatever just ease the pain? The feeling stinks. Anyways, my best friend yanked my exhausted body out of bed for a party, I willingly went along. I was a terrible, painful mess. I grabbed the first set of clothes I could find- a mohair sweater with a plaid skirt and gladiator sandals. I looked like a school girl meets the movie 300.

At 9 pm, the air outside smelled like rain and anchovies. We traveled down a dirt road and into a small cottage with luminaries all along the walkway. Jameses-my best friend, stepped into the rest room. I hadn't eaten anything 2pm, and no joke, tore through 2 cookies. Jameses maneuvered through the crowd only to find me with glazed eyes.

He lovingly swatted away the cookies and said, "Baby-girl, I wouldn't eat those if I was you." I didn't listen to him. My shoulder pain began to disappear. I ate another set of warm chocolately goodness. All I could focus on was the chocolate chips. Apparently, I was a giggly mess. I repeatedly hugged my bestie, like his skin was made of red vines.

And as much as I don't want to admit this, I will, for the sake of the lesson-I jumped on top of the granite fireplace ledge outside and sang along with the iPOD- "Highway to Hell." I was dancing and whipping my hair all around. Truth to tell, I should've listened to my best friend. Instead I chose to do my own thing. Sometimes that will hurt you. In business, that will kill your career.

Along the journey of pursuing your dream, you will have mentors and teachers guide you along. The trick is to listen to those dear people. Don't blow them off because sometimes their advice may save you a whole lot of trouble.

April Fool's Intervention

April Fool's Day and chasing your dream don't really mesh well. And that's a good thing because you, as a dreamer are giving your all toward your passion. The month of April allows you the chance to breathe and relax for a moment. Enjoy the silliness because it will refresh you.

With that said, lemme give you the April Fool's Day dirt- I have done some devilish pranks. Way back in the day, I had my pregnant sister pee on a pregnancy test. I then left the stick on the counter for my ex with a note that said, "You'll be a great father-NOT." Yep, I learned the hard way that you don't mess with men by giving them a pregnancy scare.

This year, I got my own comeuppance. Have you ever watched the show called Intervention on A & E? Today my family pulled an intervention on me. Lemme give you the dirt, my mom invited me over for dinner at Red Lobster. And I stupidly, came to dinner in my new super hero-style leather boots with sparkly beret. My family sits me down in the living room and says, "Russo, we love you but you have a problem."

My heart raced like a hummingbird on speed. My family has been down this path with me. Not but ten years ago, I was a coked-out mess.

I evenly stared my mom in the eyes and said, "Are you kidding me? I'm clean. I'll go take urine test right now."

My brother has tears in his eyes as he says, "You're addicted to hand sanitizer."

Strangely, my family is semi serious. Everyone is staring at me waiting for me to speak. I have no words. At this moment, I'm baffled, my eyes are blinking rapidly.

My mom, no joke, says in a calm voice, "I'm serious, you apply hand sanitizer every 30 minutes. You reek of rubbing alcohol. You have a problem."

At this point I am baffled. I began laughing so hard that my eyeliner is running into my mouth. I mean, I am the girl who once took so many pills that my lymph nodes just ached. I evenly stared at my parents and said, "I'm sorry but ya'll are worried that I over-do my germ protection?My, oh my, how things have changed."

Yep, this year, its official. I loathe April Fool's Day- I vote that it be banished from the calender. But then again, super silliness might just be our muse. Something to inspire us while on the road toward our dream.

Congrats Carolina Valdez Miller!

One of my fave blogs is having a mega giveaway to celebrate her agent signing. If you haven't already, go check out www.carol-in-print.blogspot.com Carolina Valdez Miller has a writing style that sticks with you. Seriously, I go to her blog and am there for at least 10 minutes.

How to handle rejection

Lets be real, lets be honest, rejection is lousy.

At the moment, I'm staring down a pile of rejection letters. The past year this said pile has played with my head mentally.

I wonder, are there others that feel the same way?

Has rejection made you question your ability to achieve your dream? I dunno about you but I am sick of letting previous rejection play with my head.

I say, we wipe the slate clean. If we, as dreamers, want to take this dream all the way then we are gonna have to prepare for a nasty slug-out fight.

And I am not talking about the Oscar winning movie, The Fighter (though who doesn't heart Mark Wahlberg or Christian Bale?)

The time has come to allow our wounds to heal. I don't know about you but I wanna wrap my hands and get swinging. Forget rejection- it means nothing. Let's get to work, my friends.

PS- I had the movie, The Fighter on the brain because my mom just met Mark Wahlberg. No joke, while at an airport traveling to Louisiana. Where was I? The restroom.

Seriously, I am fluffing my wig and I get this text, "Guess who smiled and winked at me-Mark Wahlberg! He's so cute and unassuming. I didn't realize I was staring until he winked at me."

Yep, that's what I call BadKarma- being within 500 feet of a major celebrity and I'm off in la-la land.

A page in my teenage diary

While doing a major cleaning overhaul I stumbled on one of my journals in 1995. Lemme tell you, it's hilarious. So, my dear friends, let's take a little trip to the past.

Forget Facebook and the iPad. Remember the time that Gangsta's Paradise by Coolio was the shiznit? And the buzz all over VH1 was the tragic end of Kurt Cobain? All right, now you're ready for Russo's diary. *Please note nothing has been changed, I'm typing this as is-

"Peter and Jenn got married on Days of Our Lives. I want a love like they share. I want a nice sweet man like Peter. Nah, I think I want a guy like Stone on General Hospital. He's like, leather-jacket-hottness but Stone dies. Yeah, I'll stick with Peter. I wanna nice sweet guy like Peter."

First off, what the freak. When was I such a ditzy girl? Let's be honest, I have had a few Peter's . And they are remarkable. The kind of love that sticks with you forever because they changed you for the better. I could never bag on the sweet guys in my life.

So, let's talk about the Stone's instead. First, there was the drug dealer who's feet smelled like formeldahyde, (he worked at a mortuary.) Lovely choice-yeah, right.

And then there was the painter who had a badger taxidermy mounted on his kitchen wall. Lemme tell you, there was no way I was going to makeout with him. The dude was hott but not hott enough to own taxidermy and get away with it.

Yep, I seemed to gravate toward men with power. Must be why I am have a mad-crush on Mr. Donald Trump. Hey, don't knock it, the Trump-ster is a divine kisser (in my dreams)

Let's face it, sometimes life doesn't go as we planned. The dreams that you had as a 15 year old shift. And that's okay because what if we have something even better. And I'm not talking about relationships.

The Peter's, Stone's or even Mr. Trump's are fantastic but they aren't what's important. What matters is you. The fantastic future that awaits you because you are taking a chance on your dream.

No matter what life throws at you, don't ever give up on what you want.

How not to wear a hair piece

I have learned a valuable lesson today-gym and hairpieces don't mix.

Okay, so first off, I am not a fan of my hair. Seriously, when wet my hair resembles a poodle on steroids. It's frizzy bad. So, I elect to wear extensions-pays to have a hair stylist as a friend.

Today, I tried something new-I decided to wear my hairpiece to the gym. Not smart, at all. I bet you're wondering how I am going to tie this story in with chasing your dream- Just wait. I have to admit my uber embarrassing moment first.

Okay, on a day that is colder than a penguins arm pit, I strolled into the gym and play a wicked game of tennis. Next stop, the sauna where Mr. Hott Stuff tennis instructor sits down across from me. We banter for a minute. I fluff my hair piece, all is good in the hood.

I stroll out to the parking lot- Mr. Hott Stuff is glancing at me on a treadmill. I wave (stupid, I know, but who said I'm couth) I feel a cool breeze on my head. My hair piece has fallen from my tight bun and on to the concrete. The ball of hair is lying on the ground, like a dead animal

By this time, Mr. Hott Stuff is doubling over with laughter. No joke, he has to stop working out on the treadmill because tears are rolling down his cheeks

I glance down once again at the hair piece and curse. I have two choices.

Number One- keep walking. Pretend like the hair piece really isn't mine. In doing so, keep the phone number of the Mr. Hott Stuff with dimples.

Number Two-bend down and pick up the hair piece. Thus admitting that I am imperfect and in need of fake hair. Which Mr. Hott Stuff, so can't deal with.

I stare at the guys abs, knowing full and well, a guy who looks like Conan the Barbarian is rare but a hair piece is super expensive. So, I sacrificed my pride and bent down to snag the hair piece. Never heard from dude. Nor did I call him.

Lesson learned, fake hair while working out is never good. Neither is trying to accomplish a dream without knowing the industry.

I should have taken the time to research synthetic hair but instead, I just went for it. And the cost was a super hott guy (with probably, a small . . . ego to match his steroid use)

Even so, my lack of research halted my progression. Don't let that happen when chasing a dream or a hottie.

Revenge-Is it worth it?

March Challenge of the Month: Green

What a vast subject. I could really take the topic of green anywhere. Money, leafy hash. Nah, those are obvious choices. How about we go backward in time to a spot in my life where I was clearly a wreck.

Lets talk about grass and my revenge.

Back story: I had 2 surgeries in a 9 month period. This moment in time was my downfall. I was a depressed, angry lil tart. I had met the hunkiest fireman. This dude's biceps were bigger than my head. We had a torrid relationship. I mean that much passion is bound to make anyone combust.

And boy, did we ever combust. Here's the dirt, I found out hunky fireman was cheating on me. A normal person would've moved on with their life. At the time, I wasn't normal. For the 4 months we dated, I was in the worst pain ever. No joke, I was immobilized. Every day I cried and took lortab. Dark doesn't even describe that time period.

So, upon hearing that the fireman cheated on me, I decided to write my initials on his lawn . . . with gasoline.

I'm sure you know where this is heading. You better believe I struck a match and let the front yard burn. Like I said, I was an angry lil tart.

Nowadays, I am subdued. I have learned to manage the pain-it's always there. An ever-present reminder of where my life can head if I lose track of my goals.

So, you see, dear reader, life isn't always going to go as planned. There will be sorrow beyond that which you can ever imagine. Nonetheless, there will also be an immense amount of joy.

I am on this path all because of the darkest time in my life. If I hadn't gone through the worst pain ever, I wouldn't have this journey of pursuing my dream. I wouldn't know my writer friends. And I most certainly would not know you, our brave readers/friends.

P.S.- Funny enough, Mr. Fireman is now one of my closest friends. He constantly gives me crap about burning down his lawn.

P.P.S-Since we're discussing green this month check out my garden class project. The bud of my Amarlyis is beginning to bloom.

ICY HOT and tears do not mix

I am learning, when chasing a dream you have to know your limitations. Sometimes a skill is just out of your range. Doesn't mean you can't acquire that said skill with hard work, it just takes time to get where you want to be.

It's 3am, I should be sleeping but instead I'm riddled with a sharp pain in my shoulders. A few days ago, I helped my parent's move out of my childhood home and into a condo. I should have helped my sister organize the new kitchen but nooo, I had to prove that I had the strength of Xena the warrior Princess. I'm paying the price of my ego.

On a more random note, check out these shoes from 1999 that I found in the small garage. I'm 6'2, all leg, so, you can tell how freaking tall I was in these babies. I wore my 3inch wooden platforms religiously.

Check out the cat, Bebe who's poking her head around the bend. S'up Kitty.

This year has been full of changes. My parents moving and my Uncle is really sick. Mom says he's probably going to pass away soon. I'm realizing that life never stays the same. The trick is to embrace the change. Roll with the punches, if you will.

And if those lessons are not learned, at least remember to chuck your ego out the door when seizing your dream.

*We are pleased to announce that a special someone will guest post on Monday. You won't want to miss that day.

Dear St. Valentine: Shut up.

February challenge: V-Day Horrors

There are certain things you should not say to someone you are romantically involved with-
Please note that sadly, I have uttered each line to a lover.

1-Before I kiss you, I have to ask, do you have herpes?
2-You must have a small . . . ego because you sure do overcompensate.
3- Sorry, Darlin' but you are officially one of those crushes who have been crushed.


My mouth gets me into trouble, which is why I don't celebrate Valentines.
Let's see, worst gift ever? A relish serving tray from 1978. Seriously, I wasn't even born when this gift was made. Plus, the gift was stolen from the miserable meathead's mother.
Why put up with this horrid gift? Three words, animalistic makeout sessions.

Best Valentine's gift ever would have to be from my dearest devilish dude-Sorry, ladies, he's gay. Every year, Jameses buys and frames a printed portrait for me to inspire my writing, or so he says.

Here's hoping everyone has a gaggingly perfect February. And if not, I have serving tray you can re gift. C'mon, I know you want it.